Penpusher
Posted: 2013-08-04T17:42:58+10:00 In:

After learning of an imposter alike, a student obtains information and reverses course to track down the whereabouts of the imitator, staggering across an unforeseen discovery.

Twofold

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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      The words you are using are jumbled in an odd way making your logline difficult to read:

      “After learning of an impostor alike”: Your first line’s confusing. I’d go with-
      -“After having his identity stolen by a lookalike”
      —–
      “…the student obtains information and reverses course to track down the whereabouts of the imitator”:

      There are unnecessary words in this line. If you are tracking someone you are gathering information to find their whereabouts. You don’t need to say those things

      “an (Adjective) student tracks the imitator” or “an (Adjective) student begins tracking the imitator”
      —–
      “staggering across an unforeseen discovery.” This also confusing. If it’s unforeseen I’d leave it out of the logline… Cut this line.
      —–
      Finally what’s missing is what’s standing in the students way.

      Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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    2. Samurai

      I don’t understand what your film is about. A student discovers that someone has stolen his identity, and he tries to figure out who it is?

      My first questions are: who is this protagonist that someone would “pose” as them (if it’s just a case of identity theft, then stealing their money is implied, at least to a degree)? What is your protagonist’s flaw.

      In as far as “tracking down the whereabouts of the imitator” … what does that look like? Does your protagonist go on an across the world adventure? Does it mean joining the Glee club to gather information on its members? You need to be very specific about the action and goal of your protagonist in your film, because it’s what tells me what sets your film apart from all the rest.

      Who is trying to stop your protagonist from achieving their goal? Is it the imposter, who evades their investigation?

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