Penpusher
Posted: 2013-02-22T10:48:40+10:00 In:

After publicly exposing his unique abilities a guilt-ridden teenager must defend his loved ones from the consuming evil that comes to recruit him.

Wraith: Last Son of the Grigori

Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    2 Reviews

    1. Samurai

      A guilt ridden teenager – our flawed protagonist.

      The inciting incident – exposing his abilities.
      The action and stakes – defending his loved ones from evil.

      As timmyelliot says above, with the exception of your protagonist, the rest of the logline is far too vague. What abilities exactly did he have that can be exposed? What are is the evil, and why is it coming for his family, and how is he fighting it off?
      These are the things that will determine whether your story is unique or the same superhero story that’s already been told a thousand times.

      • 0

    2. I like this so far!

      “exposing his unique abilities” to me sounds vague. Almost as if it’s supposed to be a euphemism for something that I should know about.

      [All-]”Consuming Evil” is also vague, and overused. I’d rather know what it is. Call it a Decepticon if it’s a Decepticon!

      “defend” is another vague word. I mean, doesn’t pretty much every hero in every story defend something from some thing/one?

      • 0