After receiving a video of her perfect fianc? committing what looks like a sexual assault, the soon-to-be bride is torn between trusting her man or trusting her gut.
letcon6Penpusher
After receiving a video of her perfect fianc? committing what looks like a sexual assault, the soon-to-be bride is torn between trusting her man or trusting her gut.
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You should have the lead character take action. The video should lead to the main character investigating whether or her future husband is guilty, not just passively deciding, do I trust him or not.
Richiev is 100% right.
I trust that there is more to your story, and this will probably play out over most of Act 2 of the film. But we need to know, and you need to summarize it in the logline.
I also trust that she does NOT trust her man, so there is a story. So what does she do next? What is her objective?
Perhaps the first half of the story is about finding out the truth, and after the mid point she takes action.
It would also be good to know what her own stakes are. I would like to see her life in danger past the mid point. But that’s just me. 😉
Agreed with Richiev and Karel.
The premise, in my mind, is a problem.? As photographic evidence is damning, there’s no room left for doubt – what else can she do other than ditch the wedding and turn him over to the authorities? Especially in today’s climate.
If, however, there was only an accusation and no hard proof she could be thrown into doubt and left to decided what’s right and what’s wrong. In other words, you should give the MC a moral dilemma instead of a clear-cut situation. Then, as the others have noted, give her a set of actions in pursuit of a compelling goal – perhaps prove his innocents.
I like Nir’s suggestion, the lead should try to prove her fiances innocence (Only to discover he really is guilty at the end of the story)
As Richiev said.
Of course, the video creates internal conflict.? But loglines are about external conflict.? More specifically, this logline needs to lay out what she does about what she has discovered.? Because of the video, what becomes her objective goal?