Working for the dole at a front for a criminal syndicate, a young man with dreams to box in the Sydney Olympics has an altercation with a client at work — capturing the eyes of the Owner who offers him a more profitable career… Clashing with his values and dreams.

>>?His goal is to provide for his family.
How?

As Richiev said, the logline sets up the situation and inciting incident for a plot, but it doesn’t follow through with a complete plot.? That is, it fails to tell us his response to the job offer.? We have no idea what will become his? over arching objective goal.

Even though, you are laying the foundation for a series, the pilot episode has to contain a story hook that will induce viewers to? come back next week to find out what happens next.? What happens next is determined, in this case, by what the protagonist decides to do about the offer.? The logline should tell us what his decision is, what becomes his objective goal.

But it doesn’t.

In the pilot episode of “Breaking Bad”, Walter White’s over arching goal is to provide for his family after his death. How? By producing and selling meth. That raises the dramatic question: “Will this mild mannered, unassertive man succeed in a cut throat world that demands courage and cunning to merely stay alive, let alone prevail? “? That’s the story hook, what kept viewers coming back week after week to find out what happens next.

Exactly how does your protagonist plan to provide for his family?? What’s the story hook that will keep viewers coming back week after week to find out what happens next?