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Knightrider1984Penpusher
Posted: October 13, 20142014-10-13T09:24:48+10:00 2014-10-13T09:24:48+10:00In: Public

In an attempt to cheat death, a distraught father uploads his fatally ill son’s consciuosness to a supercomputer, but things start to go awry when his son begins to believe he is the next step in human evoloution.

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    4 Reviews

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    1. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2014-10-14T10:29:37+10:00Added an answer on October 14, 2014 at 10:29 am

      This idea sounds really interesting I find the notion of uploading a consciousness to a computer good subject matter. It relates to the concept of immortality, the search for the fountain of youth is prevalent in myth and ferry-tails alike. Also narrowing the gap between intelligent life forms and technology relates to evolution and the future of life on earth. Point is that this idea presents great thematic potential which is rare and a huge bonus for a logline.

      There have been many books and films that have dealt with these ideas in the past and I don’t think that as a viewing and reading audience our interest in them has has been worn out. Steven King’s The Lawnmower Man, Tron and The Matrix to name a few. So perhaps a fresh take on the old tropes could be made more interesting.

      Instead of the story taking place inside the “computer virtual world” it could take place in the real world. Perhaps the uploaded consciousness of the man has to communicate with real people through their mobile devices and work with them to solve the problem. Perhaps the problem could be a jealous human that wants immortality rather than a super artificial intelligence that wants to destroy the MC or man kind for one reason or another; Agent Smith or Skynet etc…

      As it stands in its current draft though the logline structure is flawed as most of it is spent describing the inciting incident not the story. The antagonist as the original A.I is not clearly enough described am not sure what “…the original A.I…” means as appose to the un original, one of many, the master A.I, etc…

      The reason for him being uploaded is irrelevant in the logline a computer is enough no need for it to be super now days. Best to describe the way in which he needs to defeat the antagonist so we know what MC main action will be throughout the story.

      Hope this helps.

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    2. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2014-10-14T10:29:37+10:00Added an answer on October 14, 2014 at 10:29 am

      This idea sounds really interesting I find the notion of uploading a consciousness to a computer good subject matter. It relates to the concept of immortality, the search for the fountain of youth is prevalent in myth and ferry-tails alike. Also narrowing the gap between intelligent life forms and technology relates to evolution and the future of life on earth. Point is that this idea presents great thematic potential which is rare and a huge bonus for a logline.

      There have been many books and films that have dealt with these ideas in the past and I don’t think that as a viewing and reading audience our interest in them has has been worn out. Steven King’s The Lawnmower Man, Tron and The Matrix to name a few. So perhaps a fresh take on the old tropes could be made more interesting.

      Instead of the story taking place inside the “computer virtual world” it could take place in the real world. Perhaps the uploaded consciousness of the man has to communicate with real people through their mobile devices and work with them to solve the problem. Perhaps the problem could be a jealous human that wants immortality rather than a super artificial intelligence that wants to destroy the MC or man kind for one reason or another; Agent Smith or Skynet etc…

      As it stands in its current draft though the logline structure is flawed as most of it is spent describing the inciting incident not the story. The antagonist as the original A.I is not clearly enough described am not sure what “…the original A.I…” means as appose to the un original, one of many, the master A.I, etc…

      The reason for him being uploaded is irrelevant in the logline a computer is enough no need for it to be super now days. Best to describe the way in which he needs to defeat the antagonist so we know what MC main action will be throughout the story.

      Hope this helps.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2014-10-14T12:49:14+10:00Added an answer on October 14, 2014 at 12:49 pm

      To escape death in the real world, a man uploads his psyche into a supercomputer’s virtual world only to have the resident A.I mark him for death by deletion.

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    4. dpg Singularity
      2014-10-14T12:49:14+10:00Added an answer on October 14, 2014 at 12:49 pm

      To escape death in the real world, a man uploads his psyche into a supercomputer’s virtual world only to have the resident A.I mark him for death by deletion.

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