Penpusher
Posted: 2020-09-28T10:39:42+10:00 In:

After the death of his twin sister, a struggling teen slips into a fantasy world of denial. Taking on a mythic adventure, the ensuing clash of values with local tyrant businessman, resolves a 40-year-old mystery at the heart of his communities suffering.

Feedback appreciated.

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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      In this fantasy world, what form does the tyrant businessman take?

      Does the antagonist become the king of the fantasy land, an invading warlord, or an evil dragon that must be slain?

      What does the conflict look like, what are the actions your lead character must take to achieve his goal?

      “After his twin sister dies, a struggling teen slips into a fantasy world where the tyrant businessman who caused his sibling’s death transforms into a firebreathing dragon which he must slay to save the land.”

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      • Penpusher

        Thanks Richiev

        This is very close to the inner journey of the character, so archetypally yes all of the above.

        I am seeing the tyrant businessman in the fantasy world as a drug warlord. a lynchpin of crime, prostitution, human trafficking, arms dealer type of guy. The opposite of a benevolent king but he rules his rules. If I had one word to describe him. Toxic.

        The conflict for the protagonist is – how do I stop from becoming this toxic person?

        Life is easier for the tyrant businessman, he has outer show of strength and power, some of what the protagonist wants, yet he can’t bring himself to go down that path

        The actions the lead character must take is to do the real work, no easy shortcuts. Yes slay the inner dragon, inner fears of becoming the tyrant.

        I just have to ground it the outer journey now.

        Thank you, your insights are very helpful.

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