confronting Death
lewisricekrispyPenpusher
After the son of Death finishes his first day in the family business, he must persuade his father that he wants to follow his dream by becoming a chef.
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
What specifically happens to him to make him decide that today is the day he’s going to change the course of his life? At the moment, the event/catalyst is not strong enough. Also, it needs to happen TO your protagonist – it should not be an action he takes (finishing a day of work).
What are the stakes of failure, if he doesn’t convince his father? He just doesn’t get to be a chef? That isn’t very compelling to me.
The goal; persuade his father he wants to be a chef and not a reaper, doesn’t feel like it has the inherent conflict to keep me engaged for 2 hours. The goal really needs to be stronger, and provide more conflict.
What specifically happens to him to make him decide that today is the day he’s going to change the course of his life? At the moment, the event/catalyst is not strong enough. Also, it needs to happen TO your protagonist – it should not be an action he takes (finishing a day of work).
What are the stakes of failure, if he doesn’t convince his father? He just doesn’t get to be a chef? That isn’t very compelling to me.
The goal; persuade his father he wants to be a chef and not a reaper, doesn’t feel like it has the inherent conflict to keep me engaged for 2 hours. The goal really needs to be stronger, and provide more conflict.
That’s funny. At a recent 48 Hours event (where they give you a character name-Hector, a prop-a brush, a line of dialog-‘It’s harder than it looks.’ and 48 hours to shoot a 7 minute film) I came up with this idea:
Title: Still Life – Hector The Spector’s Brush with Death.
Hectors dad thinks it’s time for Hector to join the family business. Unfortunately Hector’s dad is DEATH-the big guy with the sickle.Hector doesn’t want to be DEATH he wants to paint. Dad tries to convince him dead people make perfectly pose-able models.
That’s funny. At a recent 48 Hours event (where they give you a character name-Hector, a prop-a brush, a line of dialog-‘It’s harder than it looks.’ and 48 hours to shoot a 7 minute film) I came up with this idea:
Title: Still Life – Hector The Spector’s Brush with Death.
Hectors dad thinks it’s time for Hector to join the family business. Unfortunately Hector’s dad is DEATH-the big guy with the sickle.Hector doesn’t want to be DEATH he wants to paint. Dad tries to convince him dead people make perfectly pose-able models.
Death is a great character because he is universally understood across all cultures and needs no explanation as to who and what he is. Needless to say the obvious and direct relation to human psyche strengthens that.
But, as well as the character problems mentioned by Nick, Death has been regularly used as a character in stories from Greek mythology to Russian folklore right up to modern day cartoons such as Family Guy.
In my mind to tell a successful story about him would need a unique type of character and an unusual action to gain an audience.
Hope this helps.
Death is a great character because he is universally understood across all cultures and needs no explanation as to who and what he is. Needless to say the obvious and direct relation to human psyche strengthens that.
But, as well as the character problems mentioned by Nick, Death has been regularly used as a character in stories from Greek mythology to Russian folklore right up to modern day cartoons such as Family Guy.
In my mind to tell a successful story about him would need a unique type of character and an unusual action to gain an audience.
Hope this helps.
Thanks for the feedback. After i submitted this i included that it was a three minute short, but the edited version never appeared.
Thanks for the feedback. After i submitted this i included that it was a three minute short, but the edited version never appeared.
>> must persuade his father that he wants to follow his dream by becoming a chef.
Which he does, and he makes dishes to die for — which everyone does.
IOW: he can’t escape his defining characteristic which is also an inherited characteristic. DNA is desinty. He can’t escape the family business unless or until…?
>> must persuade his father that he wants to follow his dream by becoming a chef.
Which he does, and he makes dishes to die for — which everyone does.
IOW: he can’t escape his defining characteristic which is also an inherited characteristic. DNA is desinty. He can’t escape the family business unless or until…?
In short, as is the story, my first thought is that he acts like a teenager, he and his father disagree breaking into a full blown arguement. Resulting in death jnr accidently running over and killing the postman, to which death remarks at how proud he is of his son.
In short, as is the story, my first thought is that he acts like a teenager, he and his father disagree breaking into a full blown arguement. Resulting in death jnr accidently running over and killing the postman, to which death remarks at how proud he is of his son.
The duration changes this as its better to rely on the pre existing notion of the angel of Death which you seem to be doing already rather than try and create an original Death character.
This is more of a comedy sketch which means you need a setup and a punch line. Your logline should be structured more like set up the characters involved then present the dilemma and after that a quick pay off.
Perhaps:
After Death’s son is made to take over the family business, he must persuade his father to let him pursue his dream of becoming a chef only after killing his first customer he learns to accept his position in life… death.
This could be tied into obesity and heart disease perhaps the greatest modern day killers are the results of Death’s son creations.
Hope this helps.
The duration changes this as its better to rely on the pre existing notion of the angel of Death which you seem to be doing already rather than try and create an original Death character.
This is more of a comedy sketch which means you need a setup and a punch line. Your logline should be structured more like set up the characters involved then present the dilemma and after that a quick pay off.
Perhaps:
After Death’s son is made to take over the family business, he must persuade his father to let him pursue his dream of becoming a chef only after killing his first customer he learns to accept his position in life… death.
This could be tied into obesity and heart disease perhaps the greatest modern day killers are the results of Death’s son creations.
Hope this helps.
After Ian hears that his father could be dead, and his horrible uncle was about to take possession of the family property, he desperately needed to find his father.
After Ian hears that his father could be dead, and his horrible uncle was about to take possession of the family property, he desperately needed to find his father.