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Patrick
Posted: March 2, 20132013-03-02T06:56:07+10:00 2013-03-02T06:56:07+10:00In: Public

After watching his parents being brutally murdered, a young boy finds a magical portal to an alien planet, where he must learn their ways so he can avenge their deaths.

Baxilon

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    3 Reviews

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    1. Covrett
      2013-03-03T19:37:53+10:00Added an answer on March 3, 2013 at 7:37 pm

      I like the idea about the boy avenging the death of his parents. If the aliens came to Earth to kill his parents, why wouldn’t the aliens maybe realize they left one behind? Maybe they come back to kill him too and he can study them from here, kill them and close their portal so they can’t harm another Earthling? He essentially would have saved all mankind as well as avenged their deaths.

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    2. Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai
      2013-03-04T08:43:11+10:00Added an answer on March 4, 2013 at 8:43 am

      I didn’t actually think that the aliens killed his parents? It doesn’t read like that to me, at least.

      I started reading this and though “oh god … another super hero …”, but I think the ‘travelling to an alien world’ segment is genuinely interesting. i think what works so well about it is as an audience member, we might be questioning whether he ever went to another world at all. It’s the kind of traumatic experience that might cause us to invent something crazy like meeting aliens who teach us how seek vengeance as a coping mechanism.

      I don’t like straight revenge fantasies, so I hope in the script it doesn’t turn out quite like that, but for now you’ve peaked my interest.

      One quibble – is there a better way to describe your protagonist than ‘young’? Something about the type of character that he is?

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    3. 2013-03-04T18:19:03+10:00Added an answer on March 4, 2013 at 6:19 pm

      I like the portal idea too. But I am not clear what he learns from the aliens. Why does he have to learn their ways to exact his revenge? Maybe they are peaceful and try to teach him their ways how to deal with his pain, but he decides to have his revenge in is own way nevertheless, which may not be murder. Just a thought.

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