Penpusher
Posted: 2016-02-04T02:22:38+10:00 In:

After winning the trials, a fiery adolescent girl is prized with becoming the body of a coldhearted AI.

After winning the trials, a fiery adolescent girl is prized with becoming the body of a coldhearted AI.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      From your logline, I can’t tell if this is the beginning of the story or the end of your story.

      Is the story what happens next and this is just the set-up?
      Or does she win the prize… The END

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    2. Singularity

      There may be a germ of a great story here, but?I can’t?locate it with certainty; ?this logline totally mystifies me.? I have no idea what the plot is supposed to be.? “Winning the trials” — what trials? “Is prized” — what is that supposed to mean?? It?isn’t even correct English.

      The story seems to be about a girl who for one reason or another, by one means or another,? whose own consciousness/cognition is swapped out for?that of an?AI.? If that is so, it sets up a potentially interesting story.? But what is the plot that follows?? What becomes the dramatic question? as a result of the swap?

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