Penpusher
Posted: 2017-01-26T05:23:22+10:00 In:

Aliens in need of a battlefield chose earth for their war, now in the remnant of the devastating war; a suicidal man must find a reason to save humanity, which is facing extinction.

Aliens in need of a battlefield chose earth for their war, now in the remnant of the devastating war; a suicidal man must find a reason to save humanity, which is facing extinction.
Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    5 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      There is a disconnect in the cause and effect between the events in the logline.

      If it’s an alien species who destroy Earth wouldn’t all mankind stand up and fight? Why only this guy?

      If it’s the alien war that’s the inciting incident then shouldn’t the MC’s goal be to stop the war or end it? Right now it reads as if the war is really only a back story and can be cut from the logline.

      • 0
    2. Samurai

      I’m confused and not buying into why an Alien species would be in need of a battlefield and choose earth.? If they are capable so space flight, what would earth hold that they need?? Wouldn’t it be better for them to choose a planet without life so your not fighting on two battlefronts?

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      I think the premise is potentially interesting but the inciting incident needs some work. Like:

      What if two alien worlds go to war — and earth gets caught in the crossfire?

      Or what if two alien worlds go to war — and one of them invades earth as strategic stepping stone to conquering the other? ( Like in 1914 I, when Germany attacked France by ?invading Belgium –?the “Schlieffen Plan”. ?And again in 1940, as part of the campaign to conquer France.)

      Now what plot arise from that inciting incident? I dunno. Humanity’s hope hanging by the thread of one suicidal man seems a stretch. It seems to me that in this story, it is not a character flaw that needs to be spotlighted but a character strength. ?What has he got that ?100’s ?of ?millions of other soldiers doesn’t have that would give him a fighting chance against the superior technology and numbers of the aliens?

      (And why not make the earth-savior a woman?)

      fwiw

      • 0
    4. Singularity

      This is an odd story, you have a suicidal man who ‘must find a reason’ to save humanity.

      This suggests that the lead character has the ability to save humanity ?but isn’t sure if he should. So the story would be about the inner conflict of the suicidal man deciding whether he should save mankind or not. Sort of ‘to be or not to be’

      • 0
    5. Singularity

      In defining the protagonist as “suicidal” you’re portraying him as a “least likely” hero. ?Which is a bona fide dramatic gimmick.

      Well, wouldn’t casting the protagonist as a “least likely” woman also do the job? ?Make her a liberal arts major, a wannabe poet :-).

      Then send her on a “Hero’s Journey” to discover and develop her latent abilities, ?save humanity, save the planet. ? The most likely?candidate for a “Hero’s Journey” is a character whom everyone else in the story thinks is “least likely”.

      Whatever, I suggest you develop the plot such that it unravels through a series of movies –a franchise. ?Franchise potential is the honey pot. (And’s is why I give the concept a thumbs up, though it needs polishing.)

      fwiw

      • 0