An alcoholic blues player sells his soul to the devil for fame and money.
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For sure, Faustian Pacts are all about metaphor, but before you script this I think you ought to dive down into what you’re really trying to say with this story, and why you want to say it, why it resonates with you. From what you’re saying right now I don’t see any original angle that’d make this compelling. It sounds like a pretty standard “Don’t sacrifice what you need to get what you want” morality play, which is what Faust and all the deal-with-the-devil stories that followed was all about. Now if that’s all you’re trying to say, fine, but why bother? It’s been said and said and said. The only way I could see it working is if you really brought a lot of passion and an immense amount of skill to it to offset the fact that the audience knows how this is going to end as soon as it starts.
On top of all that, from the perspective of this website, I’d find it hard to craft a compelling logline for a story like this because distilling it is just going to serve up something we’ve all heard before. Have you read “Fair Extension”, in Stephen King’s collection Full Dark, No Stars? It’s a fantastic, terrifying take on the Faustian Pact that takes it in an unexpected direction. I just feel like there’s so much more you could do with a story like this than just what’s been done before – and so many times.
I tried leaving a comment earlier but the page crashed on me. Anyway, I’m glad to see a bit more detail in your response to Huddy! I give you credit with your initial logline and its brevity (14 words, well done!). However, I was missing the unique hook as well. You’ve got something relatable as we’ve all thought at one time or another what wouldn’t we do for fame and glory but you didn’t have anything beyond a pact with the devil. Hearing that the devil may take the form of a priest is interesting (it’s always who you least suspect!) and a bit ironic. The dying wife adds some clear motivation as well, though, not completely original. I don’t doubt you could have a great character piece and morality play here but I’d use your remaining 11 words (if you go by the golden rule of a 25-word maximum logline) and flesh out your story to give the reader something more to get a hold of…
Well what I was thinking of doing was having my main character meet a priest who offers him advice but turns out to be the devil, I was also thinking of having the main characters wife becoming ill and dying which also serves as one of the reasons he sells his soul. I also see the devil in the film more as metaphor for life and the things people are willing to do get what he wants, I should also add that during the years the character becomes more cold and bitter and ends up realizing that the choice he made wasn’t a good choice.
Faustian Pact stories can be great but they can be really by-the-numbers, too, because it’s such an old story. I love them but they need to be handled correctly. My concern concept-wise is that this – sell your soul for fortune and fame – has been very much done before in too many incarnations to count. So what sets this apart from the others? If there is an original hook, the logline doesn’t reflect it and it needs to. Does it have to be for fame and money? Can there be something deeper? Fresher? More unexpected? Also, where is the story going? Does his Faustian bargain degenerate because it turns out that what he thought he wanted wasn’t really what he wanted and this realisation catalyses some sort of inner revelation which enables outer redemption? If so, again, this is very old ground. Or does his baragin lead him down more interesting paths, with more unexpected realisations? Where’s the hook? Just saying that he sells his soul for fame and money isn’t enough – we need a glimpse into the consequences, and those consequences must be gripping.