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KnightriderMentor
An assassin with a split personality is hired to protect a client who, unknowingly, his other personality has been hired to kill.
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Nice. That’s a great logline and a great premise for a story.
It hooked me right away.
But then, I wanted to dig a little more.
Both personalities are hired killers. Shouldn’t the protector be of a different profession? Like a bodyguard? Furthermore, shouldn’t the personalities be as different as possible to each other?
A lot relies on what triggers the shift from one personality to the other. This can cause a comedic effect, like hearing a specific word or smelling a specific smell. I agree with dpg about the comedy element.
I am wondering though how long can this premise keep a plot together? Is it a short film? Have you got a beat sheet or a synopsis? I would love to be surprised.
Agreed with the others, nice tight logline with a hook
An instantly interesting logline with a lot of potential!
I’m interested to know more about the client- what are his/her reasons for being the target of the hit and why does he/she choose the protagonist to help protect them.
Agree with the above- what is the trigger for his changing of personalities? Is it in the call to adventure of the mid point reversal that we are introduced to the direct conflict between the personalities?
Consider me intrigued!
Very good logline. Congratulations!
Brilliant – Just thinking about making that play out well makes my head ache, but this is a brilliant hook!