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KnightriderMentor
Posted: September 12, 20192019-09-12T19:33:18+10:00 2019-09-12T19:33:18+10:00In: Action

An assassin with a split personality is hired to protect a client who, unknowingly, his other personality has been hired to kill.

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    6 Reviews

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    1. Trix Samurai
      2020-01-14T02:45:01+10:00Added an answer on January 14, 2020 at 2:45 am

      Brilliant – Just thinking about making that play out well makes my head ache, but this is a brilliant hook!

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    2. nicolesigaud Logliner
      2019-10-05T01:36:39+10:00Added an answer on October 5, 2019 at 1:36 am

      Very good logline. Congratulations!

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    3. guswakey Logliner
      2019-09-14T02:11:44+10:00Added an answer on September 14, 2019 at 2:11 am

      An instantly interesting logline with a lot of potential!

      I’m interested to know more about the client- what are his/her reasons for being the target of the hit and why does he/she choose the protagonist to help protect them.

      Agree with the above- what is the trigger for his changing of personalities? Is it in the call to adventure of the mid point reversal that we are introduced to the direct conflict between the personalities?

      Consider me intrigued!

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    4. Richiev Singularity
      2019-09-13T06:47:59+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2019 at 6:47 am

      Agreed with the others, nice tight logline with a hook

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    5. giannisggeorgiou Samurai
      2019-09-13T04:28:06+10:00Added an answer on September 13, 2019 at 4:28 am

      It hooked me right away.

      But then, I wanted to dig a little more.

      Both personalities are hired killers. Shouldn’t the protector be of a different profession? Like a bodyguard? Furthermore, shouldn’t the personalities be as different as possible to each other?

      A lot relies on what triggers the shift from one personality to the other. This can cause a comedic effect, like hearing a specific word or smelling a specific smell. I agree with dpg about the comedy element.

      I am wondering though how long can this premise keep a plot together? Is it a short film? Have you got a beat sheet or a synopsis? I would love to be surprised.

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    6. yqwertz Mentor
      2019-09-12T20:42:34+10:00Added an answer on September 12, 2019 at 8:42 pm

      Nice. That’s a great logline and a great premise for a story.

       

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