An elderly man, lost in a giant maze is transformed into his younger self; but when he discovers his new world is also a slave trade; he must find the Maze Master who holds the key to freedom for all.
GStarLogliner
An elderly man, lost in a giant maze is transformed into his younger self; but when he discovers his new world is also a slave trade; he must find the Maze Master who holds the key to freedom for all.
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I presume GStar has already figured out the explanation for 1]what the maze is and 2]how the old man became lost in it.
I myself would prefer a setup where the man’s journey into the time maze is intentional rather than accidental. ?IOW: ?create an expectation gap. ?He dliberately enters the time portal expecting one result — a “fountain of youth effect” — emerges to discovers it works. ?Hurray!
And then the gotcha.
There is definitely something there, but the logic in the concept doesn’t work, the story is rather vague, the plot unclear.
Here are a few questions the logline raises, and shouldn’t:
Why a maze? How does some one just get lost in a maze? How big is this maze? Was he forced into this maze? – The inciting incident needs to make sense to the reader who is likely un aware of the situation prior to been given the logline.
What does transformed into his younger self mean? Physically? In his mind? Is this a time travel movie? – The genre and theme need to be specified more, as now it sounds like a scifi possibly time travel yet could also be a /thriller or /drama that deals with race and slavery.
Is the maze another world? Or part of our?real world? A world can not be a slave trade, but a world can have a slave trade in it, is that what the logline is saying? If so this needs to be worded differently.
What will he do with the maze master once he finds him? Kill him? Turn him into a slave himself? Destroy the mysterious maze? – This is his goal and needs to be detailed.
Maybe something like:
While trapped in a time maze an elderly Black old man is rejuvenated as a teenager and finally escapes into a world where he must now escape being a slave.
(30 words)
Whatever. I think it’s important for the stakes to be personal. ?He’s not just in a world where slavery is legal (again)– he’s also a slave himself. ?That’s the existential trade off he incurs for being young again.
fwiw
“His new world is also a slave trade…” ?not sure what that means.
“An elderly man, lost in a giant maze is transformed into his younger self; but when he discovers his new world is also a slave trade; he must find the Maze Master who holds the key to freedom for all.”
Hey GStar, you may want to consider omitting?…is transformed into his younger self just from the logline. Because, while it may be a key point in your story, it doesn’t compliment?the story you present in the logline – which is about an elderly man who discovers his new world is a slave trade ( or port? ).