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Legend_ofPenpusher
Posted: July 4, 20142014-07-04T11:44:07+10:00 2014-07-04T11:44:07+10:00In: Public

An Elizabethan do-gooder is framed for his father's murder and takes refuge with the most notorious thieves in England. When their leader is captured, he must choose: join them and return to the scene of the crime, or run away and remain an outlaw.

The Highwayman

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    1. Bo Teng Chea Penpusher
      2021-05-18T06:14:21+10:00Added an answer on May 18, 2021 at 6:14 am

      Hi Legend_of,

      the beginning of your logline sounds interesting but then the second part is quite puzzling. Your character seems to either way become a criminal so what is really at stake ? Who’s the antagonist in your main character’s journey ?

      Ok it’ll sound cliche but creating a character that would hold back the do-gooder from running away like for example the daughter of the thieves leader or maybe a younger sibling that needs his care and make him want to fight and find out the real murderer could make us see the character’s struggles and make stakes higher.
      What would he gain from running away ? Finding support from family away and heal himself from the pain o his father’s passing, saving his life because his father’s murderer is on to kill him …

      It sounds promising but things are missing to make it exciting and thrilling to look forward to watching it.

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