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dnice1728
Posted: December 29, 20142014-12-29T16:52:58+10:00 2014-12-29T16:52:58+10:00In: Public

An ex couple accidentally gets locked in the basement at a New Years Party and are forced to speak about their past, present and future.

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    30 Reviews

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    1. Kimmy Gorden
      2015-01-06T14:31:19+10:00Added an answer on January 6, 2015 at 2:31 pm

      If they are exes then (to me) the obvious time bomb is that someone is going to (re)marry very soon. Maybe the next day?
      Don’t know how to throw that in a concise line though-

      “When former lovers accidentally lock themselves in a basement during a New Years party they are forced to speak about their past, present and an immanent wedding.”

      That’s still off a little but do you see what I’m getting at? A marriage of one of them to someone else would be like a bomb to their relationship.

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    2. Kimmy Gorden
      2015-01-06T14:31:19+10:00Added an answer on January 6, 2015 at 2:31 pm

      If they are exes then (to me) the obvious time bomb is that someone is going to (re)marry very soon. Maybe the next day?
      Don’t know how to throw that in a concise line though-

      “When former lovers accidentally lock themselves in a basement during a New Years party they are forced to speak about their past, present and an immanent wedding.”

      That’s still off a little but do you see what I’m getting at? A marriage of one of them to someone else would be like a bomb to their relationship.

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    3. dnice1728
      2015-01-03T07:32:28+10:00Added an answer on January 3, 2015 at 7:32 am

      Does it sound compelling? Because I was originally thinking that but I didn’t think as far as a short film..if it would stick and keeps people attention.

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    4. dnice1728
      2015-01-03T07:32:28+10:00Added an answer on January 3, 2015 at 7:32 am

      Does it sound compelling? Because I was originally thinking that but I didn’t think as far as a short film..if it would stick and keeps people attention.

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    5. dnice1728
      2015-01-03T07:31:11+10:00Added an answer on January 3, 2015 at 7:31 am

      Yea, sort of but modern day version with a twist.

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    6. dnice1728
      2015-01-03T07:31:11+10:00Added an answer on January 3, 2015 at 7:31 am

      Yea, sort of but modern day version with a twist.

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    7. Peter Nguyen Penpusher
      2015-01-02T23:23:49+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 11:23 pm

      Two former lovers accidentally gets locked in the basement at a New Years Party and tries to get closure before one of them leaves the country ? forever!
      The best example I got unless there is actually a ticking time bomb in the basement :O

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    8. Peter Nguyen Penpusher
      2015-01-02T23:23:49+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 11:23 pm

      Two former lovers accidentally gets locked in the basement at a New Years Party and tries to get closure before one of them leaves the country ? forever!
      The best example I got unless there is actually a ticking time bomb in the basement :O

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    9. 2015-01-02T23:17:37+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 11:17 pm

      Two former lovers accidentally gets locked in the basement at a New Years Party and tries to get closure before one of them leaves the country … forever!

      The best example I got unless their is actually a ticking time bomb in the basement :O

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    10. 2015-01-02T23:17:37+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 11:17 pm

      Two former lovers accidentally gets locked in the basement at a New Years Party and tries to get closure before one of them leaves the country … forever!

      The best example I got unless their is actually a ticking time bomb in the basement :O

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    11. dnice1728
      2015-01-02T18:20:42+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 6:20 pm

      Can you give me some examples of time bomb in that situation? please

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    12. dnice1728
      2015-01-02T18:20:42+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 6:20 pm

      Can you give me some examples of time bomb in that situation? please

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    13. dnice1728
      2015-01-02T18:12:44+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 6:12 pm

      I like former lovers. I wasn’t sure how to get the right term for the log line. I appreciate the feedback. I am looking to shoot a short film.

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    14. dnice1728
      2015-01-02T18:12:44+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 6:12 pm

      I like former lovers. I wasn’t sure how to get the right term for the log line. I appreciate the feedback. I am looking to shoot a short film.

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    15. dnice1728
      2015-01-02T18:10:46+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      I was going for drama but comedy could work.

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    16. dnice1728
      2015-01-02T18:10:46+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 6:10 pm

      I was going for drama but comedy could work.

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    17. 2015-01-02T18:08:06+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 6:08 pm

      Yes, I was going for a short. I do appreciate the feedback. I was thinking of a way to make it more compelling as far keeping the audiences attention.

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    18. 2015-01-02T18:08:06+10:00Added an answer on January 2, 2015 at 6:08 pm

      Yes, I was going for a short. I do appreciate the feedback. I was thinking of a way to make it more compelling as far keeping the audiences attention.

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    19. dpg Singularity
      2014-12-31T08:53:38+10:00Added an answer on December 31, 2014 at 8:53 am

      Yeah, the story would benefit from ticking time bomb as in “Phone Booth” to raise the stakes and escalate tension. No stakes+ No escalating tension = boredom. And boring an audience is the one unforgivable sin in cinema.

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    20. dpg Singularity
      2014-12-31T08:53:38+10:00Added an answer on December 31, 2014 at 8:53 am

      Yeah, the story would benefit from ticking time bomb as in “Phone Booth” to raise the stakes and escalate tension. No stakes+ No escalating tension = boredom. And boring an audience is the one unforgivable sin in cinema.

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    21. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2014-12-31T08:48:27+10:00Added an answer on December 31, 2014 at 8:48 am

      Could you add a “ticking time bomb” that relates to their relationship with a mystery for them to solve and raise the stakes that way. To make this work look at Phone Booth and see how they sustained the tension in that premise. Otherwise as DPG said it doesn’t sound compelling as a concept for film.

      Hope this helps.

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    22. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2014-12-31T08:48:27+10:00Added an answer on December 31, 2014 at 8:48 am

      Could you add a “ticking time bomb” that relates to their relationship with a mystery for them to solve and raise the stakes that way. To make this work look at Phone Booth and see how they sustained the tension in that premise. Otherwise as DPG said it doesn’t sound compelling as a concept for film.

      Hope this helps.

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    23. dpg Singularity
      2014-12-30T01:59:55+10:00Added an answer on December 30, 2014 at 1:59 am

      Is this a short or a feature film? Or is it a stage play?

      If it’s to be a feature film then what is so compelling and interesting about the concept that people will want to pay good money to sit there and watch 2 people go nowhere, do nothing but talk for 90 minutes? Film is first and foremost a visual medium, a medium where action takes precedence over words.

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    24. dpg Singularity
      2014-12-30T01:59:55+10:00Added an answer on December 30, 2014 at 1:59 am

      Is this a short or a feature film? Or is it a stage play?

      If it’s to be a feature film then what is so compelling and interesting about the concept that people will want to pay good money to sit there and watch 2 people go nowhere, do nothing but talk for 90 minutes? Film is first and foremost a visual medium, a medium where action takes precedence over words.

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    25. 2014-12-30T01:42:45+10:00Added an answer on December 30, 2014 at 1:42 am

      “Ex couple” seems klunky. Are they ‘former lovers’, ‘divorced couple’ college/high school sweethearts? Just thinking something a bit more descriptive would serve you better.

      Now the movie that flashed before my eyes was a Christmas Carol version. My 30 word rewrite:

      Former lovers, trapped in a wine cellar at a New Years Party, are visited by the spirits of New Year’s past, present and future. and must face some sobering conclusions.

      New Years’ past played by a older version of he guy.
      New Year’s present played by a hot current version of the girl.
      New Years’ futured played by a baby – theirs if….

      and the spirits can pop out of bottles of wine as they open them. Could be a themed movie with alcohol abuse tied into it starting with college binge/party drinking, moving up to post college ‘social/business drinking/to their future…

      Wicked twist: Their bodies are found the next New Year’s Eve (they were in an abandoned chalet). They survived a few months on the ‘provisions; in the cellar. Autopsy reveals she was impregnated that night.

      Okay, that was fun

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    26. 2014-12-30T01:42:45+10:00Added an answer on December 30, 2014 at 1:42 am

      “Ex couple” seems klunky. Are they ‘former lovers’, ‘divorced couple’ college/high school sweethearts? Just thinking something a bit more descriptive would serve you better.

      Now the movie that flashed before my eyes was a Christmas Carol version. My 30 word rewrite:

      Former lovers, trapped in a wine cellar at a New Years Party, are visited by the spirits of New Year’s past, present and future. and must face some sobering conclusions.

      New Years’ past played by a older version of he guy.
      New Year’s present played by a hot current version of the girl.
      New Years’ futured played by a baby – theirs if….

      and the spirits can pop out of bottles of wine as they open them. Could be a themed movie with alcohol abuse tied into it starting with college binge/party drinking, moving up to post college ‘social/business drinking/to their future…

      Wicked twist: Their bodies are found the next New Year’s Eve (they were in an abandoned chalet). They survived a few months on the ‘provisions; in the cellar. Autopsy reveals she was impregnated that night.

      Okay, that was fun

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    27. inpassing
      2014-12-29T23:56:22+10:00Added an answer on December 29, 2014 at 11:56 pm

      Is it a comedy, drama, or something else? Hard to tell. Something like War of the Roses.

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    28. inpassing
      2014-12-29T23:56:22+10:00Added an answer on December 29, 2014 at 11:56 pm

      Is it a comedy, drama, or something else? Hard to tell. Something like War of the Roses.

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    29. Lucius Paisley Logliner
      2014-12-29T20:19:42+10:00Added an answer on December 29, 2014 at 8:19 pm

      So, kind of like When Harry Met Sally told in flashbacks?

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    30. Lucius Paisley Logliner
      2014-12-29T20:19:42+10:00Added an answer on December 29, 2014 at 8:19 pm

      So, kind of like When Harry Met Sally told in flashbacks?

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