An exiled man falls in love with a woman he’s meant to kill, a 157 year old woman on the run from the authorities.
Alan SmitheePenpusher
An exiled man falls in love with a woman he’s meant to kill, a 157 year old woman on the run from the authorities.
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“When an exiled man is hired to kill for his freedom, he falls in love with his target–a 157 year old rebel”
But I am not so sure about your details.
How come she’s so old and living? (infact running!)
Also their love seems highly unlikely..
Am I missing something?
Kindly comment below, the plot you can afford to reveal. Thanks.
>>>In Carella City, people are able to prolong ageing for 50 years, the result being everyone looks 18, but the cost is that after 50 years their bodies rapidly decompose over the next few months.
There’s your story hook and the logline needs to be framed accordingly.? You can’t just throw in “157 year old woman” without some context because it sends the minds of readers off the rails.? ?WTF?? They don’t want to know about a man falling in love with a woman he’s supposed to kill. They want to know how it’s possible for her to be so old?
This can be a daunting task in loglines for sci-fi, fantasy genre? stories:? the plot takes place in the context of a strange new world.with unfamiliar rule s. You gotta set up the world as you set up the plot.? Concisely.? No easy task, and? it may not be possible for you to do in 25 words.? Particularly as your concept has s-o-o-o many plot twists and turns, assays to explore s-o-o-o many ideas.?
But you should be able to lay out the bare bones spine of the story in 25 words or less (which does not have to include every required logline element).? What is the single, unifying bare bones spine on which every other bone, every character,? every plot beat, and? the theme hangs?
fwiw
it’s set in a dystopian world, where your film will mostly deal with the theme of validating new over old.
But what’s the practical purpose it solves for that society?
Young Gen–I hope–would still be dealt as young (as far as the age is concerned) for job availability since appearance would then turn out to be the most deceitful criterion.?
The real question is: What’s the authority’s “incentive” for the maintaining such a society?
What’s their motive?
Unless we know that, we cannot reverse engineer a plot out if it. Since good films boil down to discussing different faces of the same dice.
A good dystopian that comes to mind is “Snowpiercer”
The two political masterminds believed in maintaining a balance between anxiety and fear, chaos and horror, for life to go on smoothly.
How far was it right? Our protagonist seemed to agree too!
Until he discovers timmy inside the machine (goosebumps)
then the wrong became obvious…
(After all big talk, the elite needed the tail end for rendering small kids that can replace the extinct mechanical part)
Does your dystopian provide a good discussion?
>>>In Carella City ageing can be postponed but never vanquished, until Karl meets Penelope who hasn?t aged for over 150 years.
Okay, that sets up the situation for a plot.? Now what is the plot that follows?? Specifically, what? is Karl’s objective goal?? Because the vector of the plot? is determined by what? one character, more than any other — the protagonist — desperately wants.
And btw, as a rule, character names are not given in loglines for fictional stories.? Rather the protagonist is defined in terms of a defining characteristic, usually a character flaw.? A flaw he will eventually have to overcome to achieve his objective goal.