An exiled man falls in love with a woman he’s meant to kill, a 157 year old woman on the run from the authorities.

>>>In Carella City ageing can be postponed but never vanquished, until Karl meets Penelope who hasn?t aged for over 150 years.

Okay, that sets up the situation for a plot.? Now what is the plot that follows?? Specifically, what? is Karl’s objective goal?? Because the vector of the plot? is determined by what? one character, more than any other — the protagonist — desperately wants.

And btw, as a rule, character names are not given in loglines for fictional stories.? Rather the protagonist is defined in terms of a defining characteristic, usually a character flaw.? A flaw he will eventually have to overcome to achieve his objective goal.

>>>In Carella City, people are able to prolong ageing for 50 years, the result being everyone looks 18, but the cost is that after 50 years their bodies rapidly decompose over the next few months.

There’s your story hook and the logline needs to be framed accordingly.? You can’t just throw in “157 year old woman” without some context because it sends the minds of readers off the rails.? ?WTF?? They don’t want to know about a man falling in love with a woman he’s supposed to kill. They want to know how it’s possible for her to be so old?

This can be a daunting task in loglines for sci-fi, fantasy genre? stories:? the plot takes place in the context of a strange new world.with unfamiliar rule s. You gotta set up the world as you set up the plot.? Concisely.? No easy task, and? it may not be possible for you to do in 25 words.? Particularly as your concept has s-o-o-o many plot twists and turns, assays to explore s-o-o-o many ideas.?

But you should be able to lay out the bare bones spine of the story in 25 words or less (which does not have to include every required logline element).? What is the single, unifying bare bones spine on which every other bone, every character,? every plot beat, and? the theme hangs?

fwiw