Second Skin
An out-of-control teen is sentenced to an unorthodox rehab, where she'll have to fight to survive, but when kids begin disappearing, there's a race against time to find out the truth before she becomes the next victim.
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When an out-of-control teen is sentenced to rehab, she refuses to play by the rules, but when patients begin disappearing she’s determined to uncover the truth out of fear of becoming the next victim.
Thanks! Mmm okay so it’s not the facility that is unorthodox but what happens there, so I might lose that word if it causes confusion and also if the logline is to get buyers interest do I give away the twist?? Do I say what second skin actually refers to?? It’s not physical like epidermis it’s a psychological reference as the main character undergoes a identity struggle and splits in two. Her second skin being her alter ego, her dark side.
I don’t know how much to reveal in a logline, but I want my script to be read and ultimately bought, so do I tell them it’s a psychological thriller like Shutter Island/Raising Cain etc with a twist and do I tell them what that twist is???
Also, as I hit “Submit” I noticed that the name of the film is called Second Skin, which implies a lot more than the logline seems to suggest. Remember, the logline is to gain interest in your film for investors. It’s not necessarily used to grab the attention of an audience member. So you want to include key information. If there’s some crazy epidermal stuff going on, maybe that’s worth including.
My first question would be, what is the rehab she BELIEVES she’s attending? You’re escalating two big ideas, which probably won’t work. She’s attending a unorthodox rehab where she has to fight to survive, and then while she’s doing that, children start disappearing. The implication is that the children disappearing is the strange part, but the unorthodox rehab is the part we’re supposed to suspend our disbelief for.
Instead, don’t have her fighting to survive in the first half. The rehab can be unorthodox or experimental. That’s not too unusual. It’s a strange rehab place where she’s assured the methods are valid and respectable. And we can ALMOST believe the staff because they don’t, at first glance, to be doing anything wrong. THEN escalate with the disappearing children.
I’d lose “race against time.” It’s too overused to take seriously.
Maybe:
“As a last resort, an out-of-control teen is sentenced to an unorthodox rehab, but when patients go missing she looks to uncover what’s happening out of fear of becoming the next victim.”