Final Request
carllordLogliner
An overwhelmed single-father, hesitantly adopts the 10-year-old daughter of a former love who is about to die, only to learn the young girl is actually his.
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Or you could make the story about a commitment phobic single man who agrees to adopt an ex-lovers child. Complications arise when the child turns out to be his.
Story would be more a drama about his struggle to accept being a father.
As far I’m aware you tell acts 1 & 2 of the story. You wouldn’t see the logline for Sixth Sense explaining he’s already dead.
“Single father” definitely suggests he already has kids. Which detracts from the potential stress of adopting this kid, doesn’t it?
I’m still not clear about his description as a single father and why it should be used to describe the man if this status is from another relationship not related to the plot here. If his status is related to the present plot, then he cannot be said to be a single father, since he didn’t even know the child is his until is discovery. I stand to be corrected though, ‘cos i still have a lot to learn.
I have to disagree with cicpisces as telling “the whole story” (in 25-30 words, no less) in the logline is the point.
I like the setup here. It clearly pulls at the heart strings. But if the child is his then supposedly there is no need to adopt. Not sure about the legal side of this. Other way to play this, is to not disclose that the daughter is his in the logline, as you can use this as the act three climax. So you could say, that he is pushed to his limit by the girl and has to decide whether he can keep his promise. Otherwise you’ve told the whole story in the logline and it should be a taster of the film. (acts 1 & 2)
I like this one much better than the first. I can clearly see the protagonist, and the struggle and conflict that he has to go through to accept adopting the 10-year-old before finding out that she is actually his.