Penpusher
Posted: 2012-04-20T17:10:43+10:00 In:

An undesirable Sexaholic who struggles to have sex meets a fellow, female, sex addict who teaches him other dangerous methods to starve off his addiction.

12 Disciplines
(revised from previous attempt)

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    7 Reviews

    1. “An undesirable Sexaholic who struggles to have sex meets a fellow, female, sex addict who teaches him other dangerous methods to starve off his addiction.”

      Issue #1- Sex is mentioned three times.

      Issue #2- Can one “starve off” an addiction? I’ve not heard that phrase before.

      Issue #3- I would target one dangerous method in the logline, and let the story play out to include the other eleven.

      For Example: “A homely sexaholic, struggling to find willing partners, chooses to “hang” with a gorgeous escort who teaches him the dangerous art of autoerotic asphyxiation.” (24 words)

      Protag- homely sexaholic
      Antag- escort
      Goal- to find willing partners, or to be rid of need for partners
      Inner conflict- his need for acceptance
      Outer conflict- his addiction, need for sexual release
      Stakes- possible death
      Hook- the secret underground world of autoerotic asphyxia
      Genre- drama

      Hope this helps some!

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    2. Re: issue #2, James, are you referring to the term “stave off” which means to ward off or keep away?

      I like sharkeatingman’s rewrite, but would argue that you wouldn’t even need to add “struggling to find willing partners”. If he’s a “homely sexoholic”, enough said, surely?

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    3. Penpusher

      cool, thanks for that. thats pretty much the way that mine goes, expect it goes a little further than autoerotic asphyxia. but yeah i think that you’re logline suggestion does work/sound better. Ill try and work ontop of that
      thanks

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    4. Penpusher

      And to evangeline, by starve off I mean really to try and keep it under-control/submission.
      thanks

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    5. I think overall this is working well. It sounds like it could be fun and exciting. I guess if you’re going to be nitpicky, using the word sex three times maybe can be cut a little.

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    6. Penpusher

      “An undesirable sex addict struggling with his addiction meets a female sexaholic who teaches him more dangerous ways to satisfy his lust”

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    7. “An undesirable Sexaholic who struggles to have sex, meets a recovering female sex addict who teaches him dangerous methods to overcome his addiction.” …and maybe give him a little bit on the side… lol, just kidding. 🙂

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