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tosbro84Logliner
Posted: January 11, 20212021-01-11T15:37:15+10:00 2021-01-11T15:37:15+10:00In: Thriller

An unemployable man, 40, starts killing people to vacate positions for himself only to get hired by an agency to assassinate people. 

the murder Alarm

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2021-01-11T18:29:01+10:00Added an answer on January 11, 2021 at 6:29 pm

      Where is the conflict? A man who kills is hired to kill, there is no conflict in that.

      What is the lead character’s goal? A man who is unemployed gets hired for a job he is qualified for? Thus no goal.

      Without a goal for the lead character nor a conflict, there is no story.

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      • tosbro84 Logliner
        2021-01-11T22:54:02+10:00Replied to answer on January 11, 2021 at 10:54 pm

        Thanks for the feedback, here is the full concept of what I have in the mind
        An unemployable man, 40, starts killing people to vacate positions for himself only to get hired by an agency to assassinate people.

        After getting hired he returns to his own self of being incompetent, and lazy becoming the liability to the company. They can’t fire him because he knows everything about them and the only way to get rid of him is to eliminate him and his family. He gets the hint about this and now to protect his family he has to kill the people in the agency.

        With each killing, he creates more mess and enters the vicious circle as each murder ladders up to the top, and the only way to survive is to remain alert and committed to every moment thus giving up idleness, laziness, and incompetence.

        This would be an 8-episode series and each episode brings him to a position to become eviler, alert, and responsible.

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    2. tosbro84 Logliner
      2021-01-11T15:38:09+10:00Added an answer on January 11, 2021 at 3:38 pm

      Please find the logline. Waiting for the feedbacks, Thanks

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