All the World’s a Stage
Adam Bernstr?mSamurai
An unimaginative accountant who hates musicals is transported to an alternate universe where everybody sing and dance. He struggles to return to his own universe before he succumbs to the compulsion of joining in.
Share
Is there a way of succinctly describing how he is transported between universes and, more importantly, how “he struggles to return to his own universe?”
Interesting concept. Consider rewriting without the use of a period. Most loglines are only one sentence and 35-40 words.
I must admit that I haven’t worked out all the details of the story yet. I go the Save the Cat way and come up with a title and logline first and then work out the story.
At the moment I’m thinking a date takes him to see a Broadway, or off Broadway, show and then afterwards he gives the complaint I often hear from friends who don’t like musicals: that they can’t buy the idea of people bursting into song all the time. So, just to prove him wrong the date sends him to this other universe to prove him wrong. This may be cheesy but I was thinking that the date transports them to the alternate universe with a song and dance number in an alley. But I think it could work in the context of the story.
The accountant will try just about everything, like pleading with the person who transported him to restore everything, returning to the alley, and in as many ways as possible replicate the circumstances, while trying to avoid singing or dancing himself.
Also I’m thinking he won’t be transported back until he “learns his lesson” and breaks out of his habits, routines and inhibitions and become more spontaneous. … And then finds love in the process.
As I’ve learned it, loglines shouldn’t be over 25 words preferably.
I know mine is longer than that, and could probably use some help or suggestions on how to shorten it, while getting relavant information in there.
Hi,
If it was me (which it’s not) I’d perhaps have him ditch his date. Say he’s going to the bathroom but really leave because he’s not comfortable trying new things – hence passing on love out of fear. He could then escape out of the theatre into a back alley and perhaps be picked up by a taxi driver who drives him to an alternate version of his current reality. Perhaps he goes home, goes to sleep only to find when he wakes to go to work everyone is signing – you could have some pretty funny songs relating to accounting as it would be a stark contrast to the dull stereotype.
Things you’d need to focus on though are how going to this new world helps him overcome whatever flaw you’re assigning him and how the alternate world comes about. Does he get stuck in some sort of wild storm? In essence what you’re talking about is a form of magic – is it a super natural occurrence that sends him into an alternate force or is someone targeting your protagonist?
I think making the date send him to the alternate reality limits you. If she is aware, the magic will go. If however they were work colleagues, it would provide opportunity for him to fall in love with her in his alternate world without her being aware that he is on a journey (if that makes sense)
Good luck
Just an interesting note (for a potentially interesting movie…): in an early draft of Groundhog Day the scenario Bill Murray finds himself in is caused by a jilted lover performing a weird voodoo like spell on him (involving a hat, a tarot card, and a watch stuck at 5:59am…all which subsequently cath on fire…)… Obviously this was eventually removed — to what we have today, an amazing magical movie, with no logical explanation as to HOW it occurs. There IS the massive snow storm…hmmm.. Interesting…. When Dorothy travels to Oz she gets there buy way of a tornado…. Hmmm… Anyway…
Also, ‘alternative universe’ would be a lot harder to write than setting it in THIS universe (for me, not necessarily for you…) where, by happenstance (say, after he’s nipped out on his date, who’s perhaps, a hard headed yet optimistic lass…) finds himself in the middle of a big storm on broadway… And when it’s over, the only way any New Yorkers can communicate is through song and dance…all but our stuck up/ narrow minded protagonist. I guess this would be like an alternative universe… It just conjures up strange imagery… I don’t know.
Regardless, I really like it — best if luck.
If=of :/
At first I was against the idea of him sneaking out, because I wanted him to tell the date after the show about his dislike for musical theatre. (Personally I like musicals myself. I’m letting the accountant voice the complaint I’ve heard from a lot of friends who don’t like musicals,) and that the date then sends him to the alternate universe. But then I realized that he can actually just say those things in the intermission, and then still sneak out during the second act.
Having the date send him into the alternate universe by singing and dancing ? and in the process make him feel awkward ? was my first idea, but it may not be the best idea.
But it could still be through the act of singing on dancing still, except there is something magical about the music, lyrics and dance moves that causes it to happen somehow… I’m not sure.
Except the storm in Groundhog Day only happens later, and keeps them in that little town. It isn’t the cause of everything happening over and over again.
I’m not too keen on the idea of a storm being involved in my story either.
The idea is that it will still be New York, and almost everything will look the same at first. The accountant might not even notice any difference at first until people start bursting into song around him at the oddest moments, and he keeps walking in on showstoppers.
I’m keeping an open mind, or at least try to. (Unlike my protagonist)
That reply was supposed to be a direct reply to wilsondownunder’s comment.
You’re the best person to know what’s going to aid your story as we only get snippets. The only reason I suggest it not being the date is if she is the ultimate love interest, it seems controlling to change him and in some way less heart warming.
If alternatively he was a lonely man pining after someone he couldn’t express feelings for, the new world might help him achieve that. Maybe he gets set up on a disaster date by his friends because he can’t interact with women very well.
If his date at the theatre was a painful blind date – I could see her causing the supernatural change that leads him on his quest – ultimately leading him to true love with someone else.
Like I said though – you’ve got the bigger picture in your head.
I see your point, about the date seeming a bit too manipulative by sending the accountant to the alternate universe.
I’m considering other ways he might be transported to the other universe, than the date doing it.
I do have more of the bigger picture, but I haven’t locked anything down… not much anyway. I might try to do a beat sheet for it soon, though.
What if the twist is that suddenly, one day, he wakes up and discovers that he and he ALONE is afflicted with song-and-dance disease? The only way he can communicate anything to anyone in his quotidian life is through song and dance?
He thinks in song and dance. He dreams in song and dance. His audit reports and emails are rhymed and riddled with fanciful metaphors instead of just hard numbers and just-the-facts-ma’am-just-the-facts prose. Et cetera.
Interesting, but no… and a little yes.
I like the idea that it’s an alternate universe which looks like our own, but where everybody sing and dance. I’m also playing around with the notion that all musicals, both stage and movies, are like a window into this other universe. And then for maximum conflict send a person through that would absolutely hate it in that universe.
He will happen on showstoppers in progress, avoid places where he notices people happen to be singing in, and then of course people will burst into song around him and he will feel awkward and cringe a lot… at first.
But in a good story the protagonist needs to transform over the course of the story, at least according to what I’ve learned. So eventuallly he will grow to like it and even join in.
But there is a yes to your idea, as well. You gave me an idea for the third act!
By the time he changes and bursts into song himself he has, without knowing it, been sent back to his/our own universe and when he starts to sing and dance at the accounting firm everybody thinks he has gone crazy. I think I may even have the entire third act ? not just this, but I know roughly how it all works out.
Thanks dpg