An unfaithful family man with middle-age crisis becomes the only witness of the assassination of his secret lover while the unknown killer manages to pass it for a suicide.
OscarPenpusher
An unfaithful family man with middle-age crisis becomes the only witness of the assassination of his secret lover while the unknown killer manages to pass it for a suicide.
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I will develop it and see where it takes me. I guess the guilt theme doesn’t work so well in this story.
Thank you very much for your time FFF, really appreciated!
The new one is very good in my opinion.
good job.
You just mentioned the exact element that I want to develop in the script: guilt. The protagonist would feel guilty for not doing something about the killing. On the other hand, he would try to keep his affaire a secret, but he can’t live with the idea of a killer getting away with it (also becuase he really liked his lover). So he would be in a crossroad, until he finds a clue that puts him in the path to discover who the killer is. And then curiosity and justice would push him to investigate.
And yes, by chasing the killer he would be putting his family life at risk, but he can’t just let it go and he belives he can uncover the killer and save his own family at the same time (and this would put him under tons of stress).
From your words, I can imagine a better crafted logline like: After witnessing the killing of his lover, an unfaithful family man must find the killer before the police investigation uncovers his infidelity.
I think this sounds great, but the protagonist is moved by a selfish motivation. I like it because it makes total sense, but it’s less interesting to me than the guilt theme.
Thanks again!
It’s formally better but maybe less interesting.
I was more interested in a story where the main character must chose to go to the police and lose his wife and family, or be quite and let the killer free. Maybe the police start investigating on the main character and thinks he is the killer, so the situation becomes very complicated for him.
Besides, to mention a “middle age crisis” is not very compelling, it’s vague, and this kind of detail can be avoided to make?the logline and focus on the real heart of the movie.
“to become obsessed with uncovering the killer” doesn’t produce clear scenes, I can’t?see the main character actually doing something… how can you tell visually the story of an obsession? Chabrol was a master in this kind of plot, I think of “Juste avant la nuit” where the main character kills his lover (very first scene in the movie) and all the movie is about him dealing with his guilt. The logline for this movie could be “when a respected family man kills his lover in a sexual game, he must deal with his guilt in the context of his bourgeois and hyprocrite environment”. ?In a logline like this one I would chriticize
Good point FFF. It actually feels like the film could end right there.
How about this?: When an unfaithful family man with middle-age crisis witnesses the assassination of his lover, he becomes obsessed with uncovering the killer to make justice.
The key thing here is that he can’t just let it go. Having a lover was the only thing that made his life bearable. So when the killer takes that away from him, the protagonist will make him pay. Makes sense?
Thanks!
Am I the only one who can post reviews??
Hello,
try tu put it in way where the reader can have a whole picture of the whole movie,
something like:
“when an unfaithful family man becomes the only witness of the assasSination of his lover”, then what happens? We know what the killer does but not what the main character does. What the main character MUST do? What are the stakes?