Penpusher
Posted: 2017-11-24T00:24:42+10:00 In:

Being fired and jobless since six months, a loving husband needs to raise 24 lakhs in 24 hours to save his wife from a killer disease!

Being fired and jobless since six months, a loving husband needs to raise 24 lakhs in 24 hours to save his wife from a killer disease!
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Agree with Richiev.??The predicament is not unique.? Many people are faced with a medical crisis for which they lack the money to pay for.? What is unique in this story — or should be — is how he plans to raise the money.

      A logline needs a story hook, and in this case that hook will be the unique and risky way he intends to raise the money. So you gotta play that card in the logline, turn it over and lay it down for all to see.

      This raises a dramatic question (“Will he raise the money?”).? But it doesn’t give away the dramatic answer (“Yes, he does and she lives” or “No, he fails and she dies”) — something a logline should never do.

      fwiw

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    2. Singularity

      You should be more specific:

      “With his wife in desperate need of a life saving kidney operation, an unemployed husband illegally climbs a billboard and refuses to come down until he raises the money to save her.”

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    3. Uberwriter

      An out of work husband needs to raise 24 Lakhs in one day to pay for his wife’s medical procedure.

      You can shorten this a tiny bit. In essence, you have most elements covered in a compact logline. That’s good.

      Without knowing the monetary conversion, this doesn’t seem such a daunting task. Perhaps change it?

      What nature of task does the husband have to do? Illegal? Dangerous? May want to hit upon that. It says drama, so I assume it’s not a physical expenditure.

      Otherwise, pretty good job. Most loglines on the site aren’t as polished! Kudos. 🙂

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