Penpusher
Posted: 2016-12-01T11:34:42+10:00 In:

Born in the 70’s to a young and offbeat anti-war activist, a roubled woman recounts her spiraling descent into adulthood while baking an apple pie.

Dancing Bear

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    2 Reviews

    1. Mentor

      “her spiraling descent into adulthood”: in my opinion the movie is hidden in this un-undertandable words. What happens in the movie? I like the idea that everything is a flashback while the main character is?baking an apple pie but this detail is irrilevant in the logline.

      Anyway, the logline has a good writing style.

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    2. Singularity

      What does “descent into adulthood” mean? ? And what is her dramatic purpose — her objective goal — in reminiscing about it while baking an apple pie? ?What has baking an apple pie got to do with being an anti-war activist or reminiscing? ?What is the cause-and-effect relationship among those story elements? ?IOW: ?what’s the plot?

      The baking may work as a framing device for the narrative — but it doesn’t work for the purpose of a logline. ?A logline is a concise statement about a plot. ?And a plot is a cause-and-effect relationship between ?an inciting incident and a course of action towards an objective goal.?

      Your logline needs to answer the questions:
      What is the inciting incident?
      ?What is the resulting action toward what objective goal?
      And implicitly or explicitly what are the stakes? ?Why does it matter? ?What is to be gained or lost by her baking the pie, or reminiscing, or protesting against wars or anything else?

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