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Adamu95Logliner
Posted: April 3, 20192019-04-03T14:03:58+10:00 2019-04-03T14:03:58+10:00In: Noir

Bound by an inescapable sense to carry out his late master’s legacy, a masked hitman becomes a rising gangland player with the sole purpose of taking down the very criminal organization who employ him.

Bound by an inescapable sense to carry out his late master’s legacy, a masked hitman becomes a rising gangland player with the sole purpose of taking down the very criminal organization who employ him.
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    2 Reviews

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    1. Robb Ross Samurai
      2019-04-10T00:57:25+10:00Added an answer on April 10, 2019 at 12:57 am

      Somehow missed this. Agree with Richiev. However, add details to make this stand out since the general story has been done many times before. That might be more about the protag, when this is, where, etc.

      “Masked” gives this a superhero feel, but nothing makes that seem necessary or at least worthy enough for the logline. Clarify if the mask is important; otherwise, cut it.

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    2. Richiev Singularity
      2019-04-03T19:10:14+10:00Added an answer on April 3, 2019 at 7:10 pm

      “Bound by an inescapable sense to carry out his late master’s legacy…” An inner feeling does not make for a good inciting incident.
      ————————————–
      “When his master is murdered by the very organization he works for, a determined hitman will stop at nothing get revenge for his master by taking down his backstabbing syndicate.”

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