Cedar Bay is an ideal place to live, work, and play, except for the occasional earthquake and threat of a tsunami. An addicted boat captain must overcome his demons and step up to save the townsfolk when a tsunami hits.
johnhPenpusher
Cedar Bay is an ideal place to live, work, and play, except for the occasional earthquake and threat of a tsunami. An addicted boat captain must overcome his demons and step up to save the townsfolk when a tsunami hits.
Share
I would drop the entire first sentence.
A self-destructive boat captain must overcome his demons to save his neighbors from disaster?a tsunami heading their way.
I wouldn?t include name of town unless it?s in the title of your film/series.
Why’s he worried about the townsfolk, wouldn’t saving himself be more believable? Since saving people is a better goal, to make it more personal, maybe the event jerks him out of his state as he’s reminded of the family he failed to be with.
It’s unclear to me what the real action line is for the story.? How can one man save? a whole town after a tsunami has in a few minutes already struck and devastated the whole town?
>>>except for the occasional earthquake and threat of a tsunami
Which would seem to indicate that he can’t be the hero who warns the town and persuades everyone to believe that one is about to strike so get to higher ground because everyone already knows that the area is vulnerable. There would be a warning system in place and everyone would know what to do when it sounds.?
Further, in real life, personal demons can’t be overcome in the space of a few minutes or hours or days for that matter.? And in reel life, personal demons can’t be overcome? (credibly) in one or two or three scenes.
And how credible is it that a man instantly shrugs off the mind-numbing and behavior-debilitating effects of drug addiction and rises to the occasion to effectively help anyone?
Right now, the premise looks like a man with a personal problem in search of situation where he can redeem himself.