Noir (revised)
Charlie, a translator, finds his wife has been murdered and turned into an undead shadow creature. He must interpret her speech and discover the mystery behind her death.
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Thank you so much for the feedback!
I say yes to your last question. Also maybe just to mess around or for some flavor to make the logline more like “OMG i want to know what’s going on” Throw in something about the conflict of the shadow creature not being able to communicate effectively. So that we can feel there is a trial to go through.
Otherwise good stuff man.
The shadow creatures (called noir) is basically the same person personality wise as they were living, just with shadow abilities and their speech becomes static noise when they’re excited over something (like, say, talking about their death). Same thing happens when they write–the writing becomes scribbled the more emotional they are over it. I’d compare them more to ghosts than I would zombies.
I suppose looking at that, it’s probably not needed to call them undead, since I already said she was murdered. Perhaps taking that out would clarify it further?
I like the clarity you added to your revision. Your translator (speech?) now becomes an investigator. I am intrigued as to how interpreting her speech will help solve her murder.
In regards to the death, is her transformation comparable to what one would expect when someone becomes a zombie after dying?
Is there any reason to characterize the shadow creatures as undead?