Logliner
Posted: 2016-06-07T09:02:23+10:00 In:

EDITED: Desperate to save their TV show from cancellation, two feuding co-stars, an aging actress and a troubled younger actor, enter a fabricated public romance to boost ratings

EDITED: Desperate to save their TV show from cancellation, two feuding co-stars, an aging actress and a troubled younger actor, enter a fabricated public romance to boost ratings
Share

    Post a review

    You must login to add an answer.

    To see everything,

    4 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      I like the re-write, However; I would take out the line “…that soon turns complicated when…” and just insert the word ‘but’ This will help the flow of the logline and take out unnecessary wording.
      —————————————

      “Desperate to improve ratings for their TV show, an aging actress and a troubled younger actor enter a fabricated romance, but must outwit a tenacious paparazzo and vengeful ex-lovers out to expose them.”

      ?

      • 0
    2. Samurai

      DylanK nailed the feedback- you have a great premise, but a logline must set up the premise and also describe the main plot line or conflict.?So you’ve basically described the first 25 pages or so, what happens in the next 50 pages?

      You don’t even need to rewrite your logline, you just need to add to it- “Desperate to resurrect their failing careers, an aging actress and a troubled younger actor enter a fabricated romance but…[PROBLEM]”

      • 0
    3. Singularity

      I agree, this is a great premise. As for the logline, how about adding an antagonist.
      ———————————————————————————————
      “After TMZ features her as the number one ‘has been’ of the 80’s, a former TV bombshell enlists a handsome up-and-coming actor to engage in a fake, May-December romance to reinvigorate her career; but must outwit a tenacious paparazzo who’s out to expose the fraud.”
      ——————————————————————————————–

      Hope this helps, good luck with this!

      • 0
    4. Logliner

      I quite like this. ?It feels like a cool rom-com. ?As is, this would get my read.

      But if you want to make it truly excellent you’ll need to introduce?conflict ?This has a solid premise. ?What it doesn’t tell me is what I can expect to happen after they make the decision to fabricate a romance. ?Does the young actor have a lover he loses? ?Does the Aging actress? ?Do they suddenly have to spend 24hrs a day together only to find they can’t stand each other.

      I think when you take this to the industry at large you’re going to want that bit of info in there. ?Give me the hook.

      • 0