Desperate to save her family farm, a dedicated cowgirl falls in love with a college-indebted loner, only to find out that they both compete against each other for $50,000 at the state rodeo.
savinh0Samurai
Desperate to save her family farm, a dedicated cowgirl falls in love with a college-indebted loner, only to find out that they both compete against each other for $50,000 at the state rodeo.
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I believe your logline is getting better.
One minor point. After you tell us she needs the money then you should ?tell us how she plans to do it, (win the rodeo) after taht tell us the complication. (She falls for her main competitor) your logline has that backwards and I would look at Loemoemba’s good example and switch it around.
I agree with Nir Shelter. ?The setup seems rather generic.
The American West was — and is — still primarily a man’s world; it is dominated by masculine values and prejudices. ?So if you’re going to have a female protagonist ?in such a testosterone-“poisoned” culture, then I suggest you need a story angle that highlights and develops the resulting challenges and conflicts that creates for women.
And ?I don’t see anything in this logline that does that.
fwiw
What’s her flaw? Is she ego driven? Proud? Greedy? Fearful? Naive? Or in any other way flawed?
This seems like a rather generic a concept with very little about the story that makes it stand out.
If, however, she had a unique flaw it could make for an interesting character piece.
Just my opinion though.
What a great idea! I want to see the movie! About the logline: I think that her problem (money for the farm) and her way to overcome that (trying to win the rodeo) are too far apart in your logline. Maybe?changing the order would work better for me. Something like this:
Desperate to save her family farm, a dedicated cowgirl tries to win $50,000 at the state rodeo, only to find out that her biggest?rival is the college-indebted loner who?stole her heart.