Saving Neverland
jamesmichaelPenpusher
Discovering that her estranged father has stolen a map to Neverland, an independent rouge agrees to deliver it to a banished Captain Hook, battling against Peter Pan and his Lost Boys in the process.
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I don’t get a sense of what is at stake here for the main character or the inhabitants of the story world. So what if Captain Hook gets his hands on the map? What happens to the main character if she can’t deliver the map?
You are also using characters who are already established as good guys and bad guys. Are you subverting this? If so how? If not, why do we care if your hero wins?