Faced with a massive financial battle, a down-on-his-luck man has to urgently pay for his son?s emergency operation. It is not until he stumbles upon his long lost friend and he returns a long forgotten favor that his tilted world suddenly becomes upright again and his life changes for the better.
GeraldLogliner
Faced with a massive financial battle, a down-on-his-luck man has to urgently pay for his son?s emergency operation. It is not until he stumbles upon his long lost friend and he returns a long forgotten favor that his tilted world suddenly becomes upright again and his life changes for the better.
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The logline can be simplified and shortened.
Instead of “faced with a massive financial battle…”, say “Facing ?bankruptcy…”
And a logline should never give away the ending, never have a spoiler, never reveal how the dramatic problem is solved. ?(Ditto for the other 2 loglines you posted. A logline must state the dramatic problem — but must never, ever give away the solution.)
So the last 20 or so words can be chopped off.
“he stumbles upon his long lost friend..” ?That’s too easy of a solution. ?A protagonist can never stumble into a solution to his dramatic problem. ?He must fight and struggle and suffer and sacrifice for what he needs. ?He has to earn success as a result of his deeds in the present — not because of some deed from the distant past.
As per dpg, also check out the log for Breaking Bad for ideas…
A high school chemistry teacher diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer turns to manufacturing and selling methamphetamine in order to secure his family’s future.
?When his son suddenly needs an emergency operation, a cash strapped (Give us an occupation) devises a plan to cash in an old?favor from a rich former friend.?
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One thing I noticed. You have the situation: His son needs an emergency operation; which sets a course of action: He must acquire the money, But what is standing in the way? Because in your logline suddenly a long lost friend appears and solves his problem.