Faced with a massive financial battle, a down-on-his-luck man has to urgently pay for his son?s emergency operation. It is not until he stumbles upon his long lost friend and he returns a long forgotten favor that his tilted world suddenly becomes upright again and his life changes for the better.
GeraldLogliner
Faced with a massive financial battle, a down-on-his-luck man has to urgently pay for his son?s emergency operation. It is not until he stumbles upon his long lost friend and he returns a long forgotten favor that his tilted world suddenly becomes upright again and his life changes for the better.
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One thing I noticed. You have the situation: His son needs an emergency operation; which sets a course of action: He must acquire the money, But what is standing in the way? Because in your logline suddenly a long lost friend appears and solves his problem.
?When his son suddenly needs an emergency operation, a cash strapped (Give us an occupation) devises a plan to cash in an old?favor from a rich former friend.?
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As per dpg, also check out the log for Breaking Bad for ideas…
A high school chemistry teacher diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer turns to manufacturing and selling methamphetamine in order to secure his family’s future.
The logline can be simplified and shortened.
Instead of “faced with a massive financial battle…”, say “Facing ?bankruptcy…”
And a logline should never give away the ending, never have a spoiler, never reveal how the dramatic problem is solved. ?(Ditto for the other 2 loglines you posted. A logline must state the dramatic problem — but must never, ever give away the solution.)
So the last 20 or so words can be chopped off.
“he stumbles upon his long lost friend..” ?That’s too easy of a solution. ?A protagonist can never stumble into a solution to his dramatic problem. ?He must fight and struggle and suffer and sacrifice for what he needs. ?He has to earn success as a result of his deeds in the present — not because of some deed from the distant past.