Posted: 2012-07-30T14:14:01+10:00 In:

Four friends with troubled pasts aquire stolen SWAT uniforms to raid drug houses. They are in over their heads with the local druglord when the cop who supplied the uniforms turns on them.

The American Dream.

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    3 Reviews

    1. Some exciting elements hinted at there bu the logline is very unclear as to intentions and some other aspects.

      My first question is are they raiding drug houses to rob the dealers and profit themselves, or is it some kind of misguided attempt at amateur law enforcement? From your attempted logline, it’s totally unclear.

      The second sentence is more of a plot point than something that should be in a logline. If you have written a script behind this, then you should know your story a lot better than that logline indicates.

      Also, unless you have written a multi-protagonist structured script, your logline should be talking about your main character.

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    2. Thanks for the compliment. Your input is appreciated and I like what you did there. I’m going to be submitting this script to the Tracking B contest in a couple days and they require a logline so this really helps.

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    3. Great idea..! I like these type of action movies.

      I hope you don’t mind was tweaking the logline a bit to see if it can be shortened or re-worded, which of course is possible, I really love the idea and would go see this and rent it.. What do you think of your logline written like so….

      Four troubled friends disguise themselves with stolen SWAT uniforms to raid drug houses, discover they are over their heads with a local drug lord when the cop who supplied the uniforms turns on them.

      Just an idea. For all I know it could be perfect the original way. I do better working on someone else’s than I do my own. 🙂

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