Gale Weston moves his family, including his troubled son Tommy, to New Mexico to start afresh. When both Gale and Tommy make an enemy out of the local psychopath, and get no help from the local “law enforcement”, Gale is forced into action, and will do whatever it takes to protect his family from the increasingly deranged Billy Lush.
Need to get this logline down to fewer words I think. Feel free to ask any questions in regards to the story, and hopefully with your help I can get the logline right.
How about…
“When his family are tormented and terrorised by a local psychopath, it’s like history repeating itself for Gale Weston, and protecting his family is something he is very good at.”
?
Your logline needs to contain various elements that get to the heart of the story, and it needs to do it in 30 words or less. It’s a good idea to start with words like “As”, or “When”. Therefore…
“When his son steals drugs from a local psychopath, an Army-trained killer, must go to unusual lengths to protect his tormented family and bring the crime lord to justice.”
Reading this back, it really is far too long…
“Gale moves his family to the isolated town of El Roto, New Mexico and is forced into action when the local psychopath begins to terrorise and torment his family.”