(Based on my own true story) An autistic artist recognizes that as he gets older he increasingly exhibits genius level intellegence despite his decreasing ability to verbally express himself. As he begins to solve the world’s most distructive problems in his mind, ultimately will the solutions ever be accepted in time to save humans from themselves?
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“(Based on my own true story) An autistic artist recognizes that as he gets older he increasingly exhibits genius level intellegence despite his decreasing ability to verbally express himself. As he begins to solve the world?s most distructive problems in his mind, ultimately will the solutions ever be accepted in time to save humans from themselves?”
You have too much backstory. The backstory can be distilled down to a description. I don’t know the exact word but something like “nonverbal autistic savant” or something as opposed to “An autistic artist recognizes that as he gets older he increasingly exhibits genius level intellegence despite his decreasing ability to verbally express himself.” The real plot is the last sentence. Since it’s based on a true story I would say there’s less need of the traditional format. But these questions are the basics of a logline:
Who is the protagonist? : Autistic artist
What is the inciting incident? : Not explicitly stated, but logically it would be the discovery of the problem he’s trying to solve.
Goal? : To solve the problem and save mankind(?)
Action: To solve the problem.
And, what is the hook? To me it’s 1) a true story and 2) the autistic angle.
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Hope this helps.
Thank you for your critique! I really appreciate that you took the time to give your thoughts. If you don’t mind me asking, would you think my concept would make for a compelling movie?
I am a artist and I’m not nonverbal. I feel it’s best to convey who I really am so that my life experiences are told in the most accurate way. My intention is to establish honest connections with the audience so hopefully they understand the difficulties I’ve struggle with throughout my life. To me my back story is just as important as the real plot, or conclusion.
Well, even you’re not nonverbal you should find a short way to state?your trouble with verbal communication. ?Nonverbal is the shortest way I can think of, even if it’s not entirely accurate.
“To me my back story is just as important as the real plot, or conclusion.”
In the script, sure, in the logline you want to convey the hook of your story in the shortest way possible. And that means, unless the backstory is absolutely necessary to understand the plot(actually that brings to mind a film I watched recently, “Watchmen”. The film was almost 3 hours long because it chose to go deep into character backstories that weren’t necessary to the plot. It wasn’t subtle. I’m not saying that’s what your script is but the backstory bit brought that film to mind.) then it doesn’t need to be in the logline.
To me the problem in your post is that you focus too much on the backstory but I have no real sense of the plot. The plot is vague. What problems? What exactly do humans need to be saved from? What is the character doing to solve this problem? What motivated him to solve this problem in the first place?
Define the plot with specifics and I’ll be able to help more by providing a suggestion for a logline.
I totally understand what you’re saying, but to answer all those questions would lead me to writing more a synopsis rather than a logline.
Like you mentioned, the true hook is the fact that my story is true. This would break the mold of conventional plots because I’m currently still experiencing the 2nd act. I can’t predict the future so maybe the questions you asked could be answered within sequels, not sure. (Just brainstorming! Lol) To have the audience follow the journey along with me, makes for a very compelling twist I’ve never seen before.
I do know the problems facing humans and the foundation of how to solve them by the way. I think the fact that I’m currently living my story, allows the mystery of who I am and the details of the problems being solved also plays well within the overall unique nature of my impending plot, and or ending.
As noted, a logline is sales tool; it’s a short pitch of a script to movie makers. ?What movie makers want want to know about script before they will take the time to read it is: ?Who is the protagonist? What is the incident incident? What is the protagonist’s ?specific objective goal?
In 40 words or less. ?And with the dramatic question stated implicitly not explicitly.
So ?how does translate “Humanities need for the world communities to come together and establish the international ,social/technological, legal framework that will sustain ubiquitous digital connectivity implemented by the 4th industrial revolution and beyond” ?translate into a specific?objective goal?
” the fact that I?m currently living my story”
That means that you’re facing a problem many writers face: attachment to their story. A lack of objectivity. They think?every detail is important, and in a lot of cases if they receive feedback they are reluctant to take it because to them everything is important. But since you’re basing this on your own life it could become more severe than a fictional account.
In other words, you summed it up in an earlier post: “To me my back story is just as important as the real plot, or conclusion.” Of
So, one suggestion I have for the script: This story is not about you. It’s about a character. It’s not?your backstory; it’s your character’s. ?You can’t possibly recreate every aspect of your life in a movie, so don’t try. In fact, take liberties with it. It’s?based?on a true story, that doesn’t mean it has to be exactly what happened. In fact, most likely what actually happened isn’t dramatic enough.
Actually, that idea reminds of me of a book I read, where a man is able to pull objects out of books. But he can’t pull out a living thing because it’s too complicated, and the author couldn’t capture the complexity of a living thing. It’s the same concept here. A story is supposed to be dramatic, high stakes, characters who are interesting and motivated. And be told in two hours.
Now, as DPG said the problem still needs to be distilled down. What is really, really the problem? For example, in The Dark Knight, The Joker is terrorizing Gotham, and because of that problem, Batman must stop him. Or, in logline form:
When the Joker robs a bank Batman must find him and stop him before he tears the city apart with acts of terrorism.
Hope this helps.
The world is on the verge of making technological advances that will dramatically effect everything and everyone worldwide. An autistic savant that exhibits genius level intellegence despite his decreasing inability to verbally express himself, understands the impending threats and is compelled to do something about it. Will the world be torn apart by the 4th industrial revolution, or will his intelligent agent ever be accepted in time to save humans from themselves?
Is this better?
(Based on true events)
The world is on the verge of making technological advances that will dramatically effect everything and everyone worldwide. An autistic savant exhibits genius level intellegence despite his decreasing ability to verbally express himself, understands the impending threats and is compelled to do something about it. Will the world be torn apart by the 4th industrial revolution, or will his intelligent agent ever be accepted in time to save humans from themselves?
I thought making sure that the audience knows this is based on true events was very important and should be mentioned.
Okay, it’s clearer now. To establish the goal you use the inciting incident. ?What specific action is going make the character spring into action? (Ex: Bruce Wayne’s parents are murdered in front of him.)
Now, you said “Establish world unity by creating a ubiquitous intelligent agent” ?What is this intelligent agent? ?How will it establish world unity? Basically, who/what is the antagonist causing the need to establish unity, who is causing conflict? Now here is where my earlier point comes in about taking liberties, even if there isn’t someone/something(such as a government agency or group or something) in real life, for dramatic effect you can create one who creates the conflict.
A logline is 30 word or less description of the essence of the story. But you’re still giving too much information. In simple terms:
Inciting incident:?When…(a specific action that logically leads to…
Action: An autistic savant must…(what, specifically does he do? What is the intelligent agent? Describe what it accomplishes, and how it leads to him being able to achieve…
Goal:? To establish world unity.?(what does that mean? What is the world divided because of? What problem is he fixing?
You don’t need backstory, no questions at the end, in one sentence, less than 30 words, what is the story about?
Hope this helps.
The more I think about this, the more accurate I want to be. This is it. Lol!
(Based on true events)
The world is on the verge of making technological advances that will dramatically effect everything and everyone worldwide. An autistic savant understanding the impending threats, uses his emotional intelligence to create a ubiquitous mobile app in the hopes it establishes the solutions the world needs.
Many good points made by Dkpough1 and DPG, worth studying this thread in more detail.
However, I’d like to add a few more helpful pointers to the mix. You seem to be attached to this description:? “…The world is on the verge of making technological advances that will dramatically effect everything and everyone worldwide…”
I presume you mean that scientists and organizations, worldwide, are researching and developing technologies that have the potential to wreak havoc. If this is the case, can you specify the one scientist, or one company, that’s developing the most dangerous technology? This could be an inciting incident for the MC to take action – stop the technological development.
On a side note, as there is a lack of detail specified in the logline and you seem to be still developing the concept as a whole, have you considered a different medium?
Film requires you work within specific conventions, and to your admission you’re still living the story, which means these conventions may not be observed in these early stages of development. Seeing as you also want the audience to grow with you as the story develops, I think this would make for a good web series. In a web seires you can explore the narrative in any way you see fit, and find an audience that would appreciate it.
Hello,
I personally like when a logline can describe the basic plot of the movie in terms of main character’s goal/obstacles.
“the world?s most distructive problems in his mind”: first, I’d like to know what specific problem or I don’t know if i’m interest or not in the movie; secondly, “in his mind”? What do we SEE in the movie? The main character face while he’s thinking? 🙂
The idea of a movie about an autistic artist in very interesting but the logline is not yet there to structure the idea into an understandable and cinematographic form.
I agree with the above comments. Especially that for a logline, “The world is on the verge of making technological advances that will dramatically effect everything and everyone worldwide.” Is too vague. ?And honestly probably unneeded. If you state a specific technological advance the specific effect that the character is trying to fix, then it will be good for a logline.
For example, if a company has made an app that breaches privacy.
The true story of when a tech company releases an app that is able to access all of the cameras in its vicinity, an autistic savant must….
This version dangles the hook right in front: a true story. Then, it has a specific antagonist: the company, and if you wanted to be more specific you could use a high-ranking person within that company. And it also has a specific problem the company is causing.
So, ?in your story, what is the specific problem? What is the?specific threat it poses to society? The?specific action which ?leads to the protagonist trying to find a solution?
Also, what country is this set in? You mention dictators.
I understand that you want to make it as accurate as possible, but like DPG says, or at least something like it: reel life=/= real life. Story is conflict. If in the part of your life you’re basing this on doesn’t have dramatic conflict, change the story to make conflict. Add in someone/something to give it conflict. The producer probably won’t care much about how true it is. They want to make money, using your idea. Which means it has to be accessible to the audience. Which means conflict, a tightly plotted story, and the climax, the victory or failure. To be blunt, if filmmakers are willing to change the details of the life of someone like Abraham Lincoln, Alice Paul, MLK, in other words, someone who is famous and made a huge impact, they won’t care about the details of your life. So unless you write an autobiography or choose to release your work for free, or you become the top dog, you have to answer to people looking for a story that will make money. Doesn’t matter if it’s a book, comic, TV show, movie. Someone’s going to examine the story of your life and cut out what they deem unnecessary. You can argue, “That’s important!” But they won’t care, whether it’s a studio exec, a producer, a publisher. ?The thing they care about is how much money it will make.
So, keeping in mind that the conflict is the story, what is that conflict? Who are the two sides?
I know This is closer to what everyone is asking for when structuring my logline….
Based on a true story in a world where global technological advancements inadvertently implements an A.I. technology that challenges the need for human existence. An autistic savant understanding the impending threats, uses his emotional intelligence to create a ubiquitous mobile app in the hopes it establishes the solutions to protect mankind’s humanity from a digital holocaust.
But, as of now I still don’t want to make up anything for the sake of creating a conventional story. I’ll probably use both this one and one that conveys my real experiences to see what happens.
(Revision)
Based on a true story in a world where global technological advancements inadvertently implements A.I. technology that challenges the relevance for human existence. An autistic savant understanding the impending threats, uses his emotional intelligence to create a ubiquitous mobile app in order to protect mankind from a digital holocaust.
Based on a true story in a world where technological advancements implements a A.I. system that challenges the relevance for human existence, an autistic savant uses his emotional intelligence to create a ubiquitous mobile app to protect mankind from a digital holocaust.
(To all who read this logline: I’m curious to know your opinion on whether you prefer this loosely based version of my life, or one within a medium where you could follow my true experiences as my life progresses? Thanks!)