Talon Command
Gifted with powers after an alien ship crash lands in their hometown, five high school freshmen struggle to deal with homework, football games and staying a step ahead of the military who want to use their powers to benefit them while trying to discover the mysteries behind the crash.
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A bit wordy for a logline and a lot “seen this before”. What’s your hook? What is going to make this movie stand apart from a movie like ‘Chronicle’ (for instance)?
This is one of the reasons I’m glad I found this site. I have been working on this script for a while and it hasn’t come together and I think this may be why. Back to the drawing board.
Yeah, regrettably I’m not seeing anything I haven’t seen before (not in the logline, anyway).
You may not have to abandon it; if you think there’s something in it, why not brainstorm it? Just throw some wild ideas around: what if the teachers got superpowers, not the pupils? What if the spaceship was from the future, not alien? What if it’s the local mayor, or the the science teacher, or a millionaire software designer, who pursues them instead of the military? I’m not saying any of those are the answer, but twisting the basic elements might lead you to something unique and interesting…
^ Definitely.
Rewrite:
Tired of doing what adults can?t, five teens amp up their abilities in an effort to defend the last city not under hostile alien control. Their power may not be enough when they go up against the alien?s top warriors.
Question:
How do movie loglines differ from TV Shows?
That’s a good question. I suppose a movie logline presents the hero with one problem s/he has to solve by the end of the movie; a TV show logline creates a world with characters who we’ll see living their lives, dealing with a different problem every week.