The Trident
Eli TeirelinckPenpusher
Armed with the power of a legendary Trident from another world, a soft-spoken teen must battle against the wrath of an aquatic alien species as well as that of his best friend, all who whom seek the Trident for their own purposes.
Share
Story began in 2003 finished at the end of that school year in 2004. So yes, I already had this before I had even heard of Percy Jackson (I didn’t know about the book until 2007 and didn’t even become interested in it until 2013). I disagree with you, but I can see what you mean.
Story began in 2003 finished at the end of that school year in 2004. So yes, I already had this before I had even heard of Percy Jackson (I didn’t know about the book until 2007 and didn’t even become interested in it until 2013). I disagree with you, but I can see what you mean.
You are telling us that you wrote that story 9 years! Because the book was published July 2005.
You may disagree, but from your logline your story is eerily similar to Percy Jackson and the lightning thief.
Young soft spoken boy discovers a secret weapon. That weapon belongs to powerful beings. It is then stolen by arch nemesis who had initially pretend to befriend the hero.
You are telling us that you wrote that story 9 years! Because the book was published July 2005.
You may disagree, but from your logline your story is eerily similar to Percy Jackson and the lightning thief.
Young soft spoken boy discovers a secret weapon. That weapon belongs to powerful beings. It is then stolen by arch nemesis who had initially pretend to befriend the hero.
>>If the protag has the trident, the conflict is all about him retaining it. That will end up reactive, static, predictable. Give him a goal that sends him on a journey.
Agree. The Trident is a MacGuffin, the organizing principle of the plot, the object everyone wants.
>>”all who whom seek the Trident for their own purposes.”
Okay, they seek it for different ends — but they should be using the same means, that is, by exploiting whatever special power the Trident has.
>>”Though the Trident has many abilities”
I think it might be better to focus on one feature. The ark of the covenant in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” is not a multipurpose, supernatural Swiss army knife. It does one thing well; it has one unique feature that the Nazis covet: it makes the army that possesses the ark invincible.
>>If the protag has the trident, the conflict is all about him retaining it. That will end up reactive, static, predictable. Give him a goal that sends him on a journey.
Agree. The Trident is a MacGuffin, the organizing principle of the plot, the object everyone wants.
>>”all who whom seek the Trident for their own purposes.”
Okay, they seek it for different ends — but they should be using the same means, that is, by exploiting whatever special power the Trident has.
>>”Though the Trident has many abilities”
I think it might be better to focus on one feature. The ark of the covenant in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” is not a multipurpose, supernatural Swiss army knife. It does one thing well; it has one unique feature that the Nazis covet: it makes the army that possesses the ark invincible.
I completely disagree. I wrote this as a complete story way before that book was ever in published and beyond the fact they both have Tridents (actually, does Percy even have a trident? I know he had one in his little house at the camp and made one out of water in the movie but idk if he has one and uses it frequently in the books)the two things are completely different.
I completely disagree. I wrote this as a complete story way before that book was ever in published and beyond the fact they both have Tridents (actually, does Percy even have a trident? I know he had one in his little house at the camp and made one out of water in the movie but idk if he has one and uses it frequently in the books)the two things are completely different.
I do not want to disparage anybody, but that sounds really like a bad rip off of “Percy Jackson and the lightning thief” with the Greek Gods being replaced by Aliens.
I do not want to disparage anybody, but that sounds really like a bad rip off of “Percy Jackson and the lightning thief” with the Greek Gods being replaced by Aliens.
You don’t have a complete logline, so I’ll just riff on what’s there…
“A crippled teen battles aquatic aliens to possess a legendary trident with the power to rule the seven oceans.”
– If the protag has the trident, the conflict is all about him retaining it. That will end up reactive, static, predictable. Give him a goal that sends him on a journey.
– “crippled teen” suggests fascinating possibilities when hitched to the undersea setting. It’s sort of the mermaid thing in reverse: he’s crippled on land, but perhaps more at home in water. Or the opposite: he has a harder time in the water thanks to his limited mobility.
You don’t have a complete logline, so I’ll just riff on what’s there…
“A crippled teen battles aquatic aliens to possess a legendary trident with the power to rule the seven oceans.”
– If the protag has the trident, the conflict is all about him retaining it. That will end up reactive, static, predictable. Give him a goal that sends him on a journey.
– “crippled teen” suggests fascinating possibilities when hitched to the undersea setting. It’s sort of the mermaid thing in reverse: he’s crippled on land, but perhaps more at home in water. Or the opposite: he has a harder time in the water thanks to his limited mobility.
With the power of the Trident he can use it to find answers. Through the course of the story, he finds out that his father A.) Isn’t his dad and B.) is from another world altogether. Though the Trident has many abilities, it was created to be a “key” which the creatures can use to get back to where they come from (which is bad). The teen however can use it to find out the truth about his parents. So that becomes his goal. His goal once he first gets it though is simply to protect himself and his family from those creatures. If he succeeds, he may get his parents back (assuming they aren’t dead) if the creatures get their hands on it, he dies.
With the power of the Trident he can use it to find answers. Through the course of the story, he finds out that his father A.) Isn’t his dad and B.) is from another world altogether. Though the Trident has many abilities, it was created to be a “key” which the creatures can use to get back to where they come from (which is bad). The teen however can use it to find out the truth about his parents. So that becomes his goal. His goal once he first gets it though is simply to protect himself and his family from those creatures. If he succeeds, he may get his parents back (assuming they aren’t dead) if the creatures get their hands on it, he dies.
They are individuals, yes, but they do have a “Queen” who is giving the orders per se. There is one of their kind who will connect with the hero and try to reason with him to give up the trident, but they all want the same thing foe the same reason. They NEED that Trident. But no, they aren’t a hive mind. Just a species working for the same goal.
They are individuals, yes, but they do have a “Queen” who is giving the orders per se. There is one of their kind who will connect with the hero and try to reason with him to give up the trident, but they all want the same thing foe the same reason. They NEED that Trident. But no, they aren’t a hive mind. Just a species working for the same goal.
Are we allowed to play Guess the Magic Power? ‘Wrath of a species’ suggests to me that the aliens have been functioning as a single mind with (or without?) the presence of the Trident, which controls how individuals unite in groups. Maybe some start crawling on land, while the best friend wants to unite his sports team and maybe also control his love interest. Just a thought.
Are we allowed to play Guess the Magic Power? ‘Wrath of a species’ suggests to me that the aliens have been functioning as a single mind with (or without?) the presence of the Trident, which controls how individuals unite in groups. Maybe some start crawling on land, while the best friend wants to unite his sports team and maybe also control his love interest. Just a thought.
Are all the members of the alien species in agreement, or do some have different ideas? That is, are they individuals or more like a hive mind or some other possibility?
Are all the members of the alien species in agreement, or do some have different ideas? That is, are they individuals or more like a hive mind or some other possibility?
What is the the soft-spoken teen’s objective goal? That is, what does he plan to do with the power of the legendary trident?
And what’s at stake? That is, what is won if he succeeds, lost if he fails?
What is the the soft-spoken teen’s objective goal? That is, what does he plan to do with the power of the legendary trident?
And what’s at stake? That is, what is won if he succeeds, lost if he fails?