Posted: 2013-09-11T05:38:27+10:00 In:

Hot Flush is a four-part comedy-thriller about four recently-retired, over-60 women suddenly plunged into financial dire straits, due to cheating husbands and bankrupt pension companies, who ? faced with no alternative – turn to a life of crime

Hot Flush

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    6 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      When cheating husbands and bad investments wipe out their savings and pensions, four women must come out of retirement to survive by turning to a life of crime.

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    2. Samurai

      I think the idea is sound, but this is not structured like a logline. dpg’s is closer (check out the “write it” section of the site for more information), but I’d like to know more about who the MAIN protagonist is. (For instance, in Desperate Housewives, even though the show is about all of them, it could be argued that the story started and revolved MOSTLY around the Teri Hatcher role).

      Also, the goal is a little vague; I get that they need money, but what is the clear, visual metaphor you’re going to paint that tells us “if the protagonist does THIS, it means they have averted disaster and poverty.” Just turning to crime is a setup, not a story.

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    3. Thanks, DPG. I like this but “come out of retirement” gives the wrong impression for me. They’re ordinary women (not previous criminals) who are forced into crime

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    4. Thanks, Nicholas. Good call about specifying the crime.

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    5. Singularity

      I did not use “come out of retirement” to imply a previous life of crime; rather they retired from ordinary, legal jobs. And then got sucker-punched by events and people they trusted.

      Agree with nicholasandrewhalls: it would strengthen your logline to specify the criminal activity they chose to engage in.

      The economic plight of retirees is very, very topical. Good luck with your idea.

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    6. Samurai

      I wouldn’t have much else to suggest from whgat’s already been said — but — you should not actually state the genre in the logline — the genre should be implicit through the contents of the logline itself without having to come right out and say it… Also, I’m confused by ‘four-part’..? Does this mean Four Acts? Or like, a mini series?

      Best of luck though,.. a tight and potentially entertaining premise.

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