Humans and Fae must overcome hatred and fear to survive the collision of their worlds.
WeawriterPenpusher
Humans and Fae must overcome hatred and fear to survive the collision of their worlds.
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This is coming across more as a situation than a story.
For instance if I said. “With racial tensions mounting, white and black people must put aside their prejudices if the country is to unite” That really isn’t a story. The story would be when you personalize it. Bring it down to a couple characters that the reader can connect with, then give those characters a specific goal.
Agree with the great advice from DKpough1. You have an idea for a story, but need the outline of what will drive the story.
“Humans and Fae must overcome hatred and fear to survive the collision of their worlds.” (15)
It appears that you’re new to the site. To get started I suggest reading through the Formula tab and reading through some other members’ posts and, more importantly, the feedback to get a feel for what reviewers will be looking for in your own posts. Also review other loglines, try to identify what other members do well or could use some work on.
First of all, who’s the main character? A human, one of the Fae? (don’t include their name in the logline, but rather describe a personality trait or skills)
Then, what’s that character’s specific objective goal? And what will they have to accomplish? The logline should describe a visual action the protagonist takes.
In other words, what does “must overcome hatred and fear to survive the collision of their worlds” look like onscreen?
This logline attempt is too generic. A logline is used to pitch your story to a moviemaker, not viewer. It doesn’t just have to capture their interest, but it has to make someone want to invest money and time into your concept. Or in other words, what’s the hook? The first thing most people think of when you mention a fairy? are the Disney versions. Your logline needs to tell a potential investor what kind of story you’re telling.
Here’s an example using some elements from your post:?After a Fae prince is murdered, a detective must prove that the prince wasn’t killed by a human before the Fae declare war on humanity. (26)
That’s just an example I made up, but it has an inciting incident, a goal, and an action that the protagonist goes through.
I hope this helps.