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gman902105
Posted: August 2, 20122012-08-02T16:52:16+10:00 2012-08-02T16:52:16+10:00In: Public

In a distant future China has assumed control of most of the world by capitalizing on our sun disappearing. However, A young scientist discovers that the sun problem can be solved, thus initiating another World War.

Disaster Sci Fi Movie/ According to Blake Snyder this would be a “Golden Fleece” type of Movie. Simliar to Star Wars, The Wizard of Oz, Etc.

Help me make the logline better! Thanks for your help in advance.

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    6 Reviews

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    1. myoldfavorite
      2012-08-03T03:57:51+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2012 at 3:57 am

      Please elaborate on what you mean by our Sun disappearing

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    2. gman902105
      2012-08-03T05:11:19+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2012 at 5:11 am

      It explodes, thus leaving the world sunless i didn’t want to go into the sun disappearing too much because it part of the setup in the actual story. Basically ( I know i’m fudging science a bit) the nuclear fusion rate inside of our sun suddenly accelerates making it die faster.

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    3. Andrew Bates Logliner
      2012-08-03T10:12:58+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2012 at 10:12 am

      great idea, Gman
      A think its a little to wordy.
      being sci fi – just saying “disappearing” seems vague. Are Aliens involved? Is our solar system dying? etc. If the sun is dying or about to die, tell us. No need to go into sci fi detail in the logline, leave that for the script.

      Does your scientist have a flaw? Arrogance, loner? etc

      Protag- Young scientist
      Antag- china (Military leader) or rival scientist selling idea to china
      Goal- restore life to sun
      Inner Conflict- ? Time? Rival scientist or close friend?
      Outer Conflict- battles china, WW3
      Irony- ?
      Hook- ?
      Genre- Sci Fi

      play with the words some more. Best of luck.

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    4. gman902105
      2012-08-03T14:13:38+10:00Added an answer on August 3, 2012 at 2:13 pm

      Thanks setting up a new one. I believe the irony is the fact that the card (no sun) china is relying on is no longer viable unless they take out the scientist. Basically china is in control but their control is threatened.

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    5. jeffprattsf
      2012-08-05T15:56:51+10:00Added an answer on August 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Where is the scientist from?
      Who fights in the war?
      What is the scientist flaw? Is he alone? Does everyone believe him?

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    6. Blue Parrot
      2012-09-15T16:55:38+10:00Added an answer on September 15, 2012 at 4:55 pm

      The fudging of the science does make it a bit hard to grasp for me but there is promise here I feel. You mentioned in a post the sun explodes? Maybe it should implode to avoid vapourizing at least half of the solar system? Could you word it something like…” China holds the world hostage by monopolizing a technology that protects the earth from a dying sun. Only one young and naive Australian scientist knows the secret but he must battle a Chinese assassin to get the secret into the right hands” My version is wordy and not spot on but maybe you get the gyst of what I’m trying to say. Good luck and good start! 🙂

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