In a distant future the Milky Way's Sun dead, which China has used as an opportunity to initiate a global take over. However a young naive scientist discovers a way for Sun crisis to be solved, thus making her a target on a global scale and initiating WWIII.

Hey gman

Still to wordy.

The first line should read “In a distant future the Milky way’s sun “dies” not dead.

Global take over and WW3 are good visual words but doesn’t sit right to me. Leave the juicy bits for the script. Global take over would start a war or some type of retaliation. No need to have them both.

Someone who is Naive (clueless,lack experience, simple minded) confuses me a little, surely someone who could find a way to save the planet wouldn’t be naive? they be on the ball, smart, problem solver.

Maybe focus on character flaw (loner, arrogant, secluded ) Something they need to overcome at the end of the journey.

example…if i may.

“A distant future where the sun is about to expire. A _______ scientist has discovered the solution to save the dying star. Her findings hinder a nations goal for global supremacy”

“The sun is dying, A _________ scientist has discovered the solution to save the the dying star. A nations goal for global supremacy is balked by her findings.

You get the idea. 🙂

Okay,

A distant future where the earth’s life force has died. A secluded scientist has discovered a way to create another Sun. Her findings however hinder a nations goal for global supremacy.

tried not to use the word “sun” to much
Maybe something along those lines but better.