Sentenced to oldness
FFFMentor
In a future where criminals are punished with instant aging, when a young ex-convict -turned 70- learns about a place where his youth can be restored, he has a week to find it before the process becomes irreversible.
Share
I love the story concept, it has an ironic hook and it’s clear to see the character’s goal and what’s at stake if he fails. Not sure how it would play on screen though, as you don’t see many action films with a 60 year-old protagonist. Regardless, you have nailed the fundamentals of a great logline…
I, too, am intrigued by the concept but would like some clarification.
So murderers (and only murderers?) are instantly aged. Then what? Does it mean they live out their shortened lifespans in prison? And what’s the rationale for this drawn out punishment rather than quick and dirty capital punishment?
And if people can be instantly aged, why set the penalty at 60? Why not 65 or 70 condemning them to even shorter and more enfeebled lives?
And why should the audience care about, want the protagonist to hold onto to his youth? He’s guilty, has it coming to him…. doesn’t he?
Thanks for the feedback.
I’d like to explain all this in the logline but how?
>>> Does it mean they live out their shortened lifespans in prison? And what?s the rationale for this drawn out punishment rather than quick and dirty capital punishment?
In our world you can be sentenced to a certain number of years in prison, but it’s very much expensive, so in the future some prisoners can convert their sentence to instant aging, for example a sentence of 45 years of prison can be converted to an aging of +45 years. The main character is 18, he’s sentenced to 45 years, plus 2 weeks of a ridiculous “educational program”, then he’s free but he’s 63 y old. The conversion can be also personalized during the trial, for example a life sentence can be converted to 60 years or something like that ? I must research a little to write something ?realistic?. The future society I want to portray is extremely hypocrite; it wants to appear just and fair, so death penalty is totally abolished, but it gives up completely about the idea of the reeducation purpose of the prison.
>>> why should the audience care about
A murderer isn’t always a 100% bad person that you want to see in jail for a lifetime, or dead. In the movie we don’t see what crimes he has committed at the beginning so I think we can root for him quite easily. The institution is presented like a system who doesn’t really cares about re-education and I think we can perceive that in some way the “aging” punishment is not fully fair- the main character was young and chose this punishment because he was scared about the life in prison but he regrets his decision, so when he learn about a ‘cure’… besides, he wants to get back to his beautiful girlfriend too.
“Not sure how it would play on screen though, as you don?t see many action films with a 60 year-old protagonist.”
I guess you’ve just arrived on this planet today? Red, The Expendables, Taken… off the top of my head.
My suggestion was going to be make him become older – 80-ish – because 60 now is the 40 of ten years ago, probably longer.
I think the real age is not really important, this can be adapted according to the star availabe 🙂 I imagine him like Terence Stamp http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terence_Stamp
FFF
The more I think about it, the more I think your concept has legs. Yes, he can be a character the audience will root for, especially if the murder wasn’t pre-meditated. That is, it was an act of impulsive passion. For all the benefits of being young, impulsiveness is one of the liabilities.
But if he’s thrown out into the world, pre-aged to, say, 63, then it would follow that cognitively he would also be more mature, willing to take responsibility and do whatever needs to be done to reform his ways.
>> as you don?t see many action films with a 60 year-old protagonist.?
A] Which makes it more of a novel concept, does it not?
B] Deal with the audience demographic issue by matching the pre-aged protagonist up with his still youthful girlfriend. The only one who still believes in him as a redeemable man. She is his character witness (in relation to the audience) and his ally. He must find her to help him locate the source of the cure. His objective goal is to reverse the process. His subjective goal is to redeem himself. It’s a redemption story.
It wold play in your favor to introduce an element of innocence to the logline. What if the MC was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced anyway.
The problem with capital punishment and pre aging, as you’re suggesting, is that they are not reversible once executed. Where as a prison sentence will go on for many years and if the accused is indeed innocent and can prove this after being sentenced then they would be let free. Where as this can’t happen with capital and pre aging punishments.
I agree with DPG an action film about a 60+ year old could be very interesting and hold potential for much comic relief. Look at Red and Red 2 for example, not sure the ages of the characters exactly but the point still stands.
Also the description at the start needs to be shorter and clearer i.e:
In a future where convicts are punished with accelerated aging…
Hope this helps.
>> What if the MC was wrongly accused of murder and sentenced anyway.
A MC doesn’t always have to be innocent, on the sides of the angels. But an MC must always be interesting, compelling. See just about every movie Martin Scorsese has made.
I’m still exploring the concept, but I think that the character must declare himself guilty to change his sentence to “aging” and have his sentence shortened and others advantages, like money (the state makes huge economies and it strongly encourages the “aging”). I won’t focus about innocent/guilty, it can be a late revelation but I won’t build the story about this. My theme is the barbary of this punishement who appears ‘fair’ and ‘human’, and at the end we will learn that this is a kind of experimentation about controlling the aging process in the serach of an ‘eternal youth’ program – a top secret program where the gouvernement, the penitentiary system and a private secret research lab (where the main character is heading) are involved.
What are the stakes for the government? The stakes for a drug company are obvious: gazillions of dollars in sales and billions in profits if the experiment produces the desired result.
The interesting concept here is that you have an old man acting with the mannerisms, speech, etc of a young man…
What are the stakes for the gouvernment ? All gouvernments have some corrupted elements who make secret deals with powerful lobbies, and this is reality not a movie 🙂
This is definitely a great concept, but what would happen after his youth is restored? Would he become a fugitive again? It feels like getting his youth back wouldn’t be the end of the story, but a secondary goal for something bigger (proving his innocence, maybe).
What are the obstacles for the protagonist? I think you need to include in the logline your idea about the experimentation that involves the government. Or at least mention that, in the process of finding the place where his youth can be restored, he’ll put a top secret program that involves the government at risk.
As everyone else, I see great potential in an action film starring a young man imprisoned in an old-man’s body. I would simply link the success of the protagonist (getting his youth back) with the opportunity to prove his innocence. Maybe that’s the countdown’s purpose: he must find the evidences of his innocence before the process becomes irreversible.
In any case, I’d love to see this film!
dpg:??this could interest Schwartzy or Bruce Willis (Looper). Stallone can’t imagine he’s already 70 hahaha!
@ FFF: This has a good potential either for a comedy, a drama, a thriller, a film noir, an action movie… So your genre is not clear hahaha! which is not important at this state.
In a future where punishment is instant aging, an ex-convict turned 70 ?has a week to find the place where his youth can be restored.