Forget Everything You Know
In a past life Raymond Red believed in reincarnation. But in the life he is living now, being reborn is not part of the program.
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An emotionally appealing logline will link the protagonist, inciting incident, goal, antagonist and stakes and make the reader want to read more. You have hinted at some irony in your story which is good. Maybe heighten that (within the above formula) by saying he either didn’t believe in re-incarnation only to find out it is real or, he did believe in it but he comes back as something VERY different to what he would have wanted for himself. Best of luck!
i guess it all depends on what the purpose of your logline is.
most of what people here are testing out is the premise of their film, its ability to grab attention, and whether or not someone with money would be able to a) see the sellability of the product and b) understand how much the product is likely to cost, from a simple couple of lines.
what you’re talking about – content written in a TV or cable guide, or on the back of the DVD, from what I understand is usually written by the publication or marketing teams, and not the writer or filmmaker.
the (former) logline is a useful tool to the writer, because it helps you identify weak areas in the very basic version of your movie. is the hook strong enough, is the idea compelling? it also means that you have figured out “this is what my movie is about”, which you can keep referring to when your script starts going off the rails or it gets confusing during the writing. it’s much easier to adjust two sentences to make them more engaging than it is to re-write 110+ pages, trying to make it the most engaging version of your story.
thanx for takin the time 2 read N write. the thing is i’m afraid(?) to reveal to much info. So i thought maybe some type of less is more, brain teeze. there is a quote saying ‘a man can fall in love with a woman because of what he does not know about her’. his imagination fills in the blanks with all the things he likes and he’s head’o’heels. I guess i’m guilty of that approach in my logline.
I read that part of his comment and thought “Wow”. not because it didn’t sound nice but it made me think…’How many times did I watch a movie that I didn’t want to watch’ especially when you don’t find out untill the end. WoW !
appreciate your taking the time to read and write. I guess I’m in the woods with this.
I’m afraid to reveal too much and would need to cross paths with someone who’s imagination was armed to the teeth.
your right, i’ll agree, according to industry, standrds n’ practice, in the quest for funding, the last thing $ or marketing want to do is have to think. but my logline was with a tv guide in mind, or a cable channel description for a viewer to read. maybe posting it on this site was my mistake. but some type of reaction and input was needed. I think reading it would intrest a viewer, in a best part of the film is what you don’t know kind of way.
Hi Russell and Laughterror – you’re right – Apart from pushing the envelope of mundanity within film ? why would anyone want to make or watch this film??. Sounds much harsher than I intended. My apologies.
What I was trying to get at was that without the other elements of a logline, the information the reader has doesn’t do much to excite interest in your project. Like I said, at the moment all the reader has is that your character is someone who is alive, and that death is either the major threat or the goal. It’s unclear. What is the hook? What is the story about?
I think you have described Raymond’s inner journey, but there is no outer one to hook it onto. In other words, what is Raymond doing now and how does he realise he had a past life. I mean, OK he believed in reincarnation before, but if he doesn’t now, what makes him remember? Does he experience a cathartic event? Does someone tell him? In order for your audience, let alone a producer to be interested, your hero must have a clear goal at the beginning of the film and he must achieve it by the end. Or not, if it’s a tragedy. His belief system is his inner journey. Hope that helps.
“Apart from pushing the envelope of mundanity within film ? why would anyone want to make or watch this film?”. That doesn’t sound very nice.
But he’s right about the logline. Loglines are meant to sell a script to a person with money who’s looking for a return on an investment. If you’re planning to make this yourself then the logline is a useless exercise. Forget what we think and make art house brilliance. The movie could turn out amazing, but a producer and a marketing person wouldn’t now what to do with this. Try getting some of the basics Nick mentioned in there.
I don’t mean to sound overly critical, but the point of a logline is to entice a producer or funding body to want to produce your script, and then for them to be able to sell it to talent and distribution companies.
Your current logline is far too vague for that to work. None of the important questions (the ones I asked above) are answered.
Even your description is too vague. It tells me, essentially, that your hero is an everyman who is alive, just living his life, and that when he dies, he’s dead. He is his own enemy. If he fails to die he will live again.
Apart from pushing the envelope of mundanity within film … why would anyone want to make or watch this film?
Bear in mind I’m not criticising the idea – you may well have a corker. I’m criticising your logline. You’re doing nothing to entice the reader to want to know more. Give us something.
Raymond is one of the unfortunate or lucky people who live more then one life. Could be you or me. His life is the journey and his goal is that its the last. The opposing force is none other then himself. If he doesn’t play his cards right, he’ll be forced to live another life. This film is about the most important event a person will experience in a lifetime(If their lucky). Transformation will be the result of Forgetting everything you know.
Who is Raymond? What is the journey he’s going to go on? What is his goal? What is the antagonistic force to achieving that goal? What is at stake? What is your movie about?