In order to register their young daughter in a private school, a self-entitled couple decides to rob a bank, but things take a turn when the robbery goes wrong and they are forced to run.

As Richiev has pointed out, why do we want these people to succeed? You’ve called them self-entitled and they don’t just want to pay for the their daughter’s education – they want her to go to private school… how are you going to make them likeable? Why is the audience going to care?

Inciting incident – currently, the inciting incident is kinda missing. I understand that they want to register their daughter in private school but the reason for this desire needs to to be summed up in the inciting incident. This is a great opportunity to provide the protagonists with a noble motive that the audience can get behind.

Protagonist – I’d consider picking one of the two parents as the lead and suggesting a character arc with a characteristic. Self-entitled to humble works although it needs to be carefully written to make the character likeable, as mentioned previously.

Goal – Currently, although I know why they robbed the bank the logline seems to launch into a secondary story with its own inciting incident (the robbery going wrong). This sets up a goal of not being caught but I struggle to see how they get back round to the initial goal of getting their daughter into private school when they’re on the run…

I would focus on the daughter and the personal element and get rid of the robbery going wrong stuff. It doesn’t mean it can’t be in the story but if you give us a good inciting incident, like the daughter being bullied and taken out of school or something, then the bank robbery makes sense and you can leave it at that.

Hope this helps.