Semi-musical, dramedy fantasy.
In order to visit her daughter in the afterlife, a devout Christian woman must learn to accept her daugher's heathen friend in the now.
Share
Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
In order to visit her daughter in the afterlife,
This may be a confusing way to start the logline. Why would anyone want to visit her daughter in the afterlife? That’s essentially a death wish, right?
a devout Christian woman
All we know about this woman is that she is a Christian. Can you give us somewhat more? What’s her function, job? Is her flaw that she is – too – devout? This may be seen as judgmental by a lot of viewers/readers.
must learn to accept her daugher’s heathen friend in the now.
This is good. It clarifies the character flaw, which is not the fact that she’s Christian but she’s judgmental. Therefore I would remove the ‘devout Christian’ from the logline as I think it may confuse some people and – worst case – offend others. If you’re building a case that devout Christians can be judgmental, show it in the story, don’t advertise it in the logline.
The problem with this logline – as with many others I’ve read on the site now – is that there’s only the promise of an ‘inner journey’ of change, but not an exciting plot. What is our main character doing for most of the movie? We know she wants to visit her daughter but I understand she will only be able to do this at the end of the story, after her transformation, or learning.
What should we imagine this movie will look like?
My worst fear is that there will be a lot of dialogue and bickering… unless you prove me wrong with a stronger logline!
Looking forward to the new version!
The logline reads well, but to me it sounds like an intense 2 character drama brimming with grief and introspection. I struggle to see the fantasy element unless the main character sees her daughters ghost, and struggling even more to imagine how either of the 2 characters will intermittently burst into song … and unless this is meant to be funny, am wondering where the “Jolly Friend”-ly comedy fits in.
Perhaps these elements can be incorporated into the tagline – what you have already sounds very intriguing.
Thanks for your views.
Interestingly enough, religious people see it as religious, non-secular folks see it as non-secular.
49 out of 50 thus far have loved it. No one agrees what it’s about. It’s about shunning. It’s about jumping to erroneous conclusions. It’s about gay rights. It’s about childhood. I say, it’s about one little girl wanting another little girl to come over and play at her house. Do you have any idea how tough it is to write that into a logline that will ignite the imagination? If I wrote that, I’d get, like, yeah, so? Why should I care?
For me, the most entertaining aspects are the two little girls and their fantasy worlds yet everyone agrees, it’s about the mother. The mother struggles and fails to accept her daughter’s friend, who happens to be her goddaughter. Because she was raised to be stoic, she can’t talk openly with her daughter about her fears. In a moment of weakest, she has the church excommunicate the family, only to learn what the dire consequences will be in heaven. Lesson learned, she breaks her silence and begins the mother-daughter relationship of her dreams, and finally accepts her goddaughter for who she is. Sort of.
It isn’t strictly a musical. There are key scenes where music is an intergrated part of the story, but it is far and away from the traditional concept of musical.
The title is “Jolly Friends.”
Thanks for reading!
There are a few problems with the logline. Most prominent is the use of very strong religious terms that conjure up fanaticism, and fear of the story’s agenda to push religious beliefs. The genre of dramedy-musical is not evident. My suggestion would be to really hone in on what’s most entertaining about your story, and why you wanted to tell it in the first place. Combined with a killer title, a great log-line really sets up the type of entertainment the audience can expect, and answers the question, “What’s it about?”