Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
ShadowPenpusher
Posted: March 26, 20162016-03-26T03:56:13+10:00 2016-03-26T03:56:13+10:00In: Adventure

?In the desolate future, when an isolated and curious teenager is suddenly forced from his collapsing underground bunker into the overgrown wilderness outside, he will have to survive long enough to make a few allies if he is to find his little sister, rumored to be alive.?

?In the desolate future, when an isolated and curious teenager is suddenly forced from his collapsing underground bunker into the overgrown wilderness outside, he will have to survive long enough to make a few allies if he is to find his little sister, rumored to be alive.?
  • 0
  • 4 4 Reviews
  • 1,011 Views
  • 0 Followers
  • 0
Share
  • Facebook

    Post a review
    Cancel reply

    You must login to add an answer.

    Forgot Password?

    To see everything, Sign Up Here

    4 Reviews

    • Voted
    • Oldest
    • Recent
    1. CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
      2016-03-26T13:28:32+10:00Added an answer on March 26, 2016 at 1:28 pm

      The story is he needs to find his sister. Everything else is what is referred to as an inciting incident.

      So what does he do to find his sister.
      What prevents his success?

      Or is it just about him making allies?

      In a desolate future a homeless teen must get help from new allies to rescue his sister that he believed dead from xxxxx before xxxxx

      I hope this helps. Remember less words is better. Be as direct as possible.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    2. FFF Mentor
      2016-03-27T00:36:59+10:00Added an answer on March 27, 2016 at 12:36 am

      I agree.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    3. dpg Singularity
      2016-03-27T00:54:20+10:00Added an answer on March 27, 2016 at 12:54 am

      The teen’s objective goal is to find his sister.??Okay. The need to survive is self-evident; it goes without having to say so.. ?Finding allies is a?means to that end.?

      Why does he need allies??? I presume to fight whoever is holding captive his sister.? Well,? who is the antagonist?? From whom , specifically, must the teenager rescue his sister — before it’s too late?

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp
    4. Neer Shelter Singularity
      2016-03-29T09:37:08+10:00Added an answer on March 29, 2016 at 9:37 am

      Best to describe the events in order i.e inciting incident (sister is taken) then the action (fight for, search for or bargain with to get her back) goal (get the sister back).

      For example:
      After his sister is taken by a lawless gang in a post apocalypse desolate future, a [good description] teen must [compelling action] to get his sister back.

      • 0
      • Reply
      • Share
        Share
        • Share on Facebook
        • Share on Twitter
        • Share on LinkedIn
        • Share on WhatsApp

    Sidebar

    Stats

    • Loglines 8,000
    • Reviews 32,189
    • Best Reviews 629
    • Users 3,716

    screenwriting courses

    Adv 120x600

    aalan

    Explore

    • Signup

    Footer

    © 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
    With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.