Penpusher
Posted: 2017-03-30T15:24:20+10:00 In:

In the final stages of war between three factions, an incredible warrior and huntsman is called upon birth to secure, protect and adapt a defenseless faction called Avagon whilst ensuring their victory and survival.

In the final stages of war between three factions, an incredible warrior and huntsman is called upon birth to secure, protect and adapt a defenseless faction called Avagon whilst ensuring their victory and survival.
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    2 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      Just curious, but what is motivating the lead character? Is their a personal connection in saving Avagon? If so it should be added to the logline.

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    2. Uberwriter

      Read this out loud a few times and then you can hear how it lacks flow. I don’t like the term: “final stages of war” at all. Why are the three factions worth mentioning at this time? If Avagon is defenseless then lose “their victory” because they aren’t fighting to begin with.

      A defenseless faction calls upon a warrior and a huntsman to defend their existence from… (whatever the threat is).

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