Mentor
Posted: 2016-10-01T18:51:24+10:00 In:

A hacker must shut down the latest social media craze, The MindNet, after illegally connecting his mind with network?s creator and discovering a plan to use the MindNet as a means of population control.

A hacker must shut down the latest social media craze, The MindNet, after illegally connecting his mind with network?s creator and discovering a plan to use the MindNet as a means of population control.
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    3 Reviews

    1. Singularity

      It’s an intriguing concept. ?And a timely one given the rapid evolution of the technology for social media and cloud services. ?Unfortunately, it’s challenging one to condense into a pithy logline.

      I use a template to compose my own loglines and decompose others for analysis and polishing. ?Here’s how your logline breaks down for me:

      Question:Answer:
      What is the hook?In the future consciousness can be directly shared on the MindNet cloud
      Who is the protagonist?A Hacker
      What is his character strength?Hacking chops
      What is his character flaw weakness?Socially inept. But it seems extranesous, a throw away in relation to the objective goal. The primary purpose of the character flaw is to increase dramatic tension by making it more difficult for the protagonist to achieve the objective goal. How being socially inept offsets his hacking chops — the character strength he needs and has — is not obvious.
      What is the inciting incident (II)?Hacks mind of the creator just as he’s killed. He witnesses the crime.
      What becomes his objective goal (OG)?Shut down MindNet.? But there seems to be a missing causal link: how does the hacker know the motive of the killers? Could the killers not be digital vigilantes trying to stop the conspiracy by killing its Creator, take down the MindNew? How does he know they are killing the Creator to seize control?? Or is the case that his original OG is to identify and apprehend the killers?? And in the process, there is the Big Reveal moment when he stumbles upon the conspiracy, their real motives?
      Is the choice forced or voluntary?Voluntary.? No one’s pointing a gun at his head. Not a force majeure event.
      Why? What are the stakes?Human autonomy, liberty.
      What is the subjective need?None apparent that complicates achieving the objective goal. To repeat: it’s not obvious how a lack of social skills handicaps his ability to achieve his objective goal. What he seems to need is hacking chops and he has them.
      Who is the antagonist?Killers? (Vaguely defined)
      What is the ticking clock?Must succeed before they seize control of global consciousness and the world.

      fwiw

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    2. Singularity

      I suggest you study the Training tab up top. This logline is too long and describes far too many events for it to work well.

      Here is a simplification of your concept:
      The main character is a Hacker.? He or she witnesses government officials killing a new social network? technology’s inventor.? His or her goal is to shut down the new technology to save the population.

      What is unclear is how the murder makes him understand that the government intends to use the new technology for the wrong reasons. Why is he so motivated to shutting down the new technology? What is his MUST do or die moment?

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    3. Mentor

      I like the concept!

      I think the?problem is that we don’t know what we will see in the movie… a physical heist at the MinNet server facility? people discussing hacking strategies on their keybords? I don’t know if this is important at this stage.

      Anyway, I encourage you to write a 4 pages treatment to test the concept, then go back at the logline.

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